im not really into them, however asthetically the custom shop 69 stratocaster headstock looks really great.
besides it not having a truss rod access on the headstock, what is the difference between
69, 70s headstock(bullet truss access), and let say the hwy 1?

to my eyes they look really different, but are they?

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69 and 70 truss rod access is only to be more easy on the headstock than on the body. Highway 1 have the biflex truss rod like all modern desing Fender guitar ( American Standard)

Biflex: you can adjust more or less neck curve, this double truss rod "push" the neck for more or less curve.

Vintage truss rod ( like '69,'70) just only pull the neck back to compasate from the string pull.

I don't know that the Highway1/American Special have the Bi-flex truss rod. I'm fairly certain that they use a standard single-action truss rod. The plug, though, is the same as used on the American Standard.

Highway One's do not have the bi-flex rods. It is a traditional one-way rod. I think you may find the neck feels different in your hands. I have 2 vintage 70's Fenders, and a 70's re-issue strat. The real ones have a distinct U-shape, meaning the neck feels slim width-wise, but it is thick in depth. You can really feel the shoulders! The re-issue attempted this shape, but they are a little thinner thickness-wise. I used to be like you, and not like the large headstocks so much......but after owning a few Fenders with large headstocks, the style grew on me. I don't know if the 69 has the 60's C shape or if it would be like the 70's U shape......sorry I like the U !!!!

Sorry if I gave wrong information about Higway 1 truss rod

I don't think any new Fender's really capture the feel of the old necks (save for custom shop). I'm not sure if its a cost thing or what, but none of their necks are as thick as they used to be..

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I know! The thicker Fender necks really feel great! Although I like the modern US standard neck shape just fine. I bought the re-issue hoping the neck shape would be right. It is close, but like you said, it is nowhere near as thick, and feels a little "off" compared to the real thing. I've never had the honor of messing with a custom shop caliber instrument

Well to be honest, vintage necks really varied a lot. In fact, most of the ones I have played have been pretty thin. I got to play a 55 Tele, 56 Strat, 64 and 65 Strat, and 66 tele. Save for the 56 strat, all the necks were a lot thinner than my John Mayer strat and Custom Shop 65. The detail I believe that money Fenders don't seem to get right is the weight. Of the Vintage strats I played, all were extremely light.