Hi everyone. I'm not sure if I'm placing this topic in the right place so if not please move it. It does involve playing my Am Std Strat, though.

I'm 43 years old and have been playing for 3 years. Learning guitar was my 40th birthday present to myself. Not too bad of a mid-life crisis I guess. I'm sure my wife was happy I picked the guitar up rather than a girlfriend and/or sports car.

Anyway, I spent nearly a year on an acoustic and then got the jones for an electric. I've now got one of each, a Taylor 310 and my Strat. I couldn't be happier. I don't do either guitar justice with my amateurish playing but their both excellent guitars that just scream for me to pick up and play.

Recently I decided to sit down and try to learn Gravity by John Mayer. I like his music and that song seemed within reach. However, it seems this song contains so many more "guitar techniques" than some of the easier rock songs I've learned/tried to learn and I'm a little frustrated at my (very slow) progress. My bends are off pitch and when releasing the bends other strings ring out. My rhythm and percussive strumming leave much to be desired. In short, I just can't imagine being able to play this song passably.

I'm just wondering if you guys ever feel intense frustration when trying to learn something new. Is there a better practice technique than simply watching a youtube video on how to play it and then trying to mimic the video?

Any guidance from this community would be greatly appreciated.

What works for me is trying to identify the technique being used. Sometimes this takes a lot of listening. (these days you have the advantages of DVDs as well) Once you can associate the technique with the style and tones, you should find yourself in a better position. Just my 2 cents.

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Hey, Raf.

I used to get pretty frustrated too, but ever since I learned enough to know what to ask, I can easily talk to my guitar instructor and ask him about what I could do to practice whatever technique is being used on a particular song.

My point is, if you are trying to learn a technique, it might be better to exercise it with more focus than just trying to play a song. A directed exercise will take you much farther than just trying to mimic what is being shown on video.

Now regarding getting sound from other strings when releasing the bend, I used to have the same problem. For me the problem was that my fingertip would somehow pinch the string just above the one I was bending (the strings happened to be just the height to get it between my fingertip and its nail.) Lowering the action a bit resolved the issue to me.

Cheers!

I think every guitar player can sympathize with you. Trying to play something difficult can be challenging, frustrating, and -- eventually -- immensely rewarding. Whenever I run across something that I can't immediately get the hang of, I like to break it into sections; the more difficult the piece, the smaller the chunk I'll play. Eventually it becomes nothing more than piecing sections together and increasing the speed of the whole. It can be challenging, yes, but chopping it up and playing it very slowly can be very, very helpful. And as for JM, I completely agree: the man can play, and his songs aren't exactly easy to play by ear. I learned Good Love is on the Way awhile back and, despite it being one of his easier songs, I was hard-pressed to hit every note perfectly. It did come though.

Hi Raf,

Raf,It is great to see you got into guitar even at such an advanced age as there is nothing like it .The downside is that being the age you are at you are a grown man with responsabilities and everything else that eats up most of your days. Most of the people on here have been playing since they were young and as we know when your a teenager you have a lot of free time and for most of us it was spent woodshedding,As I would say most people on here are already advanced and have their chops down to where they can play most things they want to.You have been playing 3 years so if you were 13 your 16.By no means give it up. What I am saying is it takes a longtime to get good and it depends on how much you put into it. .Just try to squeeze in at least an hour a day buy dvds on differant techniques and dont try to play songs over your head as it can be very frustrating.There are some songs I can nail in an hour ,solo and all it depends on how well you know the tune and the level of difficulty and there are still songs that are hard to get down correct and can take a few days.Especialy when trying to nail a complicated solo your best bet is to break it down into little sections and digest it a lil at a time so you can here the music in each phrase and how it goes together.Another tip is if something is giving you difficulty shelf it for a day or two then come back to it with a clear head,KEEP ON ROCKIN

Thanks for your replies, guys!! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who gets frustrated at times.

Yeah, with wife, kids, dog, mortgage, career, etc., finding time to practice is sometimes difficult. I try to pick up the guitar everyday for at least 30 minutes, though sometimes I'm forced to skip a day (or two ). I'm going to take both my gits to have them set up by someone good. I had a bad experience with a supposed "professional" 2 years ago and he dinged up another acoustic I had pretty good. I guess that kind of scared me away from giving my instruments to someone else so I've been trying to tinker with them myself. I think my action is too high on both gits so I'll try to remedy that.

Don't laugh but I was always into Bon Jovi, Green Day and other similar bands and had gotten pretty good at power chords and simple songs. I'm more of a recent convert of John Mayer and dude just flat out has some chops. I took lessons for about a year but haven't taken any for a couple of years. Those helped too, if for no other reason than it forced me to practice more regularly so I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of my instructor.

Thanks again for the guidance. I think by the time I'm in a retirement community I may have a few songs that I can play for my neighbors. I'll probably sound pretty good, too, since no one will be able to hear all that well.

I share your frustration. I have been working on a certain part of Master of Puppets since the 80's, not constantly but here and there. It is the part that comes after the solo and is some intense riffing by James Hetfeild, before going back into the verses. For some reason, that part has never clicked, I can almost play it up to speed, but it gives me trouble. It's just one of those things that my fingers just can't get trained for in the normal time I usually spend mastering a part, they don't want to do it. I am sure though if I focused on it, I would get it. But it will take more time than other songs I have learned. I can play harder parts, but something about that part eludes me. And I believe I can play anything if I set my mind to it. You should have that attitude too.

Your issue seems to be a issue that many aspiring guitarist have, and that is being able to mute/deaden certain unwanted strings/notes. I find it also hard to teach. I don't remember anyone showing me how to do it, but something that came with time and a basic explanation of what I needed to do. I am teaching my son to play, and one of his problems is deadening the strings that he does not want to play, such as a simple two note power chord, he wants to smack them like I do, but he can't mute the other strings so he gets a mess. He is getting better, but its developed through practice. I mute now with absolutely no thought of it. I don't even know how I do it, and its done differently depending on what you are playing. Sometime you use your strumming hand/palm to mute, called palm muting which works for fast parts that you a percussive attack on. I am pretty sure that when I play leads on the high notes, my palm is muting the bass strings. Other times you use your fretting hand/fingers to deaden notes that you don't want to ring at all while letting other notes ring. Other times you have to use a combination of palm and finger muting.

The way I wail away on the guitar, I am sure that I am hitting more strings than the ones I am going for, its just that I learned how to mute the other notes and just let the desired notes ring. Play around with you hand position and muting, it will come with time

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Guitars:
1. mid 70's Ventura MIJ Gibson l6-s clone (Pre-lawsuit) in Black with Rosewood FB and EMG 81 BR/ 85 Neck
2. ESP KH2 Neck Thru
3. 2008 Am Std Strat in 3 tone sunburst

I feel your pain Raf. I had half of SRV's Little Wing down to the note and most of the rest of the song within reach...Semester picked up and I haven't had much time to play due to all the work I've had. I tried playing it a few days ago and was deflated when I found out I had to relearn everything ... that and my fingers hurt . its a good burn though

Hey Raf..... I'm 53 and I am frustrated guitar player too! I used to play back in highschool and then put it down for.... well a long time. I've only picked it back up for about two years now and wish I never left.

With the job and family, I dont have time for lessons which I know would help keep me focused. So I use youtube, books and the internet as my teachers..... My problem is I try something complicated and get stuck so I go back to something that I can play easily. The bottom line is I dont know how to practice. I get stuck doing the same thing over and over.... which leads to the frustrating part.

Even with all of that, I play just for the fun and my own enjoyment. I try to play a little everyday. I have a ball with it!

Anyway... just have fun!

Keith

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'00 American Deluxe Stratocaster (Kinman Hx pups)
'08 Ibanez AS73 (Gibson Burstbuckers)
Fender DeVille 410

Don't get too frustrated. I went through the mid-life crisis, taking guitar lessons was my way of dealing with it... but that was about 18 years ago.. Now I'm back at it, getting ready to restart lessons next week, right after celebrating my 58th birthday... break the song into parts as a lot of responders here have suggested..

wow, gravity, within reach?
yeah, i kindof giggled when i read that in your post. only because ive sat down with it, and its a hard song to learn.
what you can do (john mayer is notorious for using unusual chording)
write down the chords of the song. google them or use online chordfinder.
play the chords of the song to get the feel.
then play the chord and add the fill,play the chord add the fill. and so on.
good luck.

It happens to everyone.Just dont give up, practice, practice, practice. Youll get there.If your trying to learn songs by playing along your doing better than you think. Good luck and DONT STOP.

Straycat113

I had to chuckle when you mentioned someone at age 43 being an "advanced age" !

I tried getting my teen abilities back - only almost 43 years later.

I have the same frustrations mainly from my fingers not doing what my brain tells them to do.

I'd love to be able to play a simple song - any simple song with having to look at the fretboard. I guess it's called tactile feel - it goes away with age.

It's still a blast and rewarding when that "problem" part gets worked out.

Practicing has also been included in my new diet regime - I hang a guitar near the Kitchen Island and grab it instead of the Twinkies.....got a lot of practicing to do!