I've always just looked down the edge of the neck looking at the frets. Is this how everyone else does it?

Yea, that's how I do it. I have even gone as far as taking pictures down the neck so when I experiment I have a way of getting back to where I was.

As far as setting it to Fender standards. The Fender manual gives pretty good instructions.

put your left hand finger on the first fret not hard, and put your right hands small finger on the last fret of the guitar on the same string and then with your right hands thumb you touch and feel the distance from the fret to the string on the 12th fret, thats how much neck bow you have ... I like to have just a little space there almost no bow but thats just how I like it ... other people like it with more bow depending on your likes

Ensure the guitar is in regular playing position. Dont lie it down as even though this only affects the neck a tiny bit, neck bow adjustment is done fractions of a milimeter each time so even the flexure from lying the guitar down on a solid surface will sku your results.

fret on the 1st fret, and put a capo on the last fret. You should just be able to slide a playing card under the string over the 7th fret, without the card touching the string. if the card moves the string, you need more neck bow.

likewise if you have too much bow, you will have a few millimeters of space between the playing card and the bottom of the string.

Trial and error, and very small adjustments are required

I like to set my neck up perfectly straight(I use a high quality metal 18" ruler/straight edge). Then I add relief to the point where the notes ring true, and there is little fret buzz. I tend to prefer a nice clear tone from my Strats, so I run my action a little on the high side(more relief). After setting up enough guitars, you will find what is comfy for you. Set it up to Fender specs as a good starting point. Fender adds relief at the factory. A good general rule is guitars - .004"-.012", bass guitars - .008"-.018"

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A bunch of guitars, a few amps, some pedals and some other stuff that makes noise.

Fender factory setups suck though. My setup was awful and i got a delux! it seems they put little to no time into the setup.

Remember as said in earlier post check neck in playing position. I use a straight edge set neck straight then string height then add relief to the neck check string height again listen for fret buzz add relief if needed for buzz then back to string height. Just a matter of going back and forth till you got. Also I think for the neck to work its magic its got to have some slight degree of relief in the neck and others like straight as possible.

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