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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:57 am
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spawnofthesith wrote:
People shouldn't take things so seriously. Just go with the stereotypes that all individual musicians are associated with and laugh with and at it.

Guitarists are self centered and arrogant
Drummers are about as smart as a pale of water
and Bass players are really just unnecessary tagalongs that give nothing to the band....

Oh wait that last one is true....




Hahaha I kid, I kid.



Yeah, just make one of the musicians try to stand alone, a band is a team and each musician brings something to the plate.

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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:54 pm
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Changing the tune here. (bad pun)

Why do bagpipe players have to keep walking while playing?





To get away from the noise!


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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:36 pm
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Here's two.

Q: When does a banjo sound the best?
A: When it's hitting the bottom of a dumpster.


Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, one to change it and the other four to stand around and say "I could do that".

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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:01 pm
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Another drummer joke but was heard from eil Peart himself in an interview,

"What does a drummer get on his SAT's?"

Drool :D


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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:44 pm
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This one is from Aunt Mimi, John Lennon's aunt.

"The guitar's all very well, John, but you'll never make a living out of it."

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Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:50 am
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What's the quick definition of Jazz?

All the right notes in all the wrong places!

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"Life is like eating jalapenos. What you do today may burn your arse tomorrow"
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Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 7:18 am
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A few hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder
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I'm an under 40 victim of fate
Arriving too late...
Arriving too late...


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Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:40 am
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Location: Sunderland UK
Letter from a musician to "Dear Deirdre (Agony aunt)
Dear Deirdre.....

I'm devastated to say this, but I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would expect, I travel a lot when playing with the band. I have been noticing strange things happening when I get home. My wifes' mobile phone rings and she goes outside to answer it or she says, "I'll ring you back later". When I ask her who rang, she gets evasive. Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way. I once picked up at the end of the street while she was on the phone and she got very angry about it. I could tell something wasn't right in our relationship.

Anyway, a friend of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and some bloke have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp as his was on the blink. That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really happening. I said "Yes, you can borrow my amp, but I want to hide behind it at the gig to see if she comes in, and who she comes in with."
He agreed.

Saturday night came and I crouched behind my Fender Blues Deluxe combo to get a good view. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp, almost burning my face. It was at that moment, that I noticed that one of the main valves was not glowing as bright as the others .
Can you tell me…Is this something I can fix myself or do need to take it to a technician?
Thanks,

Very Concerned.


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Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:28 pm
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Ok, all you feelng bad for drummers:

Its tuesday and band class is rehersing. The boy on the snare drum keeps goofing off and not keeping time, so the conductor keeps yelling at him. Finally, as the drummer pokes a cute french horn player in the back with a drum stick, the conductor says, "thats it, I'm going to take away one of those sticks and you'll be even more useless...then what will you do?"
"the drummer thought for a minute and replied..."umm...conduct?"


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Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:04 pm
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A lady goes in a tattoo palor and wants a tattoo of Elvis from her knee up to her waist. No problem says the guy. He gets it finished and the lady is standing in front of the mirror not sure if it's to her liking the guy says no problem we'll do the other side. He gets all done. The lady goes back to the mirror looking from one side to the other and still not sure. So the guy says we'll get another opinion. So he goes outside the parlor catchs a guy walking by and explains the situation. So the guy walks in and the lady turns around the guy stands there stairing at the tatoo's and says I don't know about those twins but that guy in the middle looks like Willy Nelson.


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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:08 pm
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Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"

Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!" :lol:

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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 3:03 pm
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Why did Lewis and Clarke take a Banjo's on there trip out west?

Because they make good paddles!
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:04 pm
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A Deth Metal band lost their front man.
To replace him, they hired a muscle-bound blabber-mouth from the WWF.
Nobody knew the difference! :lol:


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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:16 pm
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How many bluegrass players did it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they won't touch anything electric. (No offense to any bluegrass fans!)


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