It is currently Tue Mar 17, 2020 2:44 am

All times are UTC - 7 hours



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
Post subject:
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:28 pm
Offline
Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:53 pm
Posts: 586
Location: PA
In the 22nd century, how many guitarists will it take to change a light source?
10. One to change it, and the other 9 to comment on how much better the old tubes were! :D

_________________
I dare you to move
~Switchfoot~


Top
Profile
Fender Play Winter Sale 2020
Post subject:
Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:44 pm
Offline
Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 6:48 pm
Posts: 517
Location: west virginia
What Happened to the husband who bought his wife a bass?

Well lets just say there going through a divorce


god that was a really bad joke

_________________
Just a amatuer looking for tips

Current Gear:
1968 Kay Strat
Kramer Focus 111S
Johnson 15w amp
Squier Black and Chrone Special Tele


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:45 am
Offline
Professional Musician
Professional Musician
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 8:08 pm
Posts: 2472
Location: Virginia
LSD= Lead Singers Disease.

"That band is okay, but the frontman has a major LSD problem."

_________________
RAMA LAMA FA FA FA


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:00 am
Offline
Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:19 am
Posts: 603
Location: Santa Fe, NM 87505
Why do bands have a bass player?






To translate for the drummer


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:07 am
Offline
Amateur
Amateur
User avatar

Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:33 am
Posts: 139
This is an old one, heard it couple of years ago:


You know you're a guitar player when your girlfriend says she got a new g-string and you ask " Is it nickel-wound or bronze phosphorous?"


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:28 pm
Offline
Professional Musician
Professional Musician
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 9:13 am
Posts: 1952
Location: tucson
im a jazz fan and the frog joke was great LOL


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:31 pm
Offline
Professional Musician
Professional Musician
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:27 pm
Posts: 1242
Location: Grass Valley, CA
One from my Bluegrass days.


What's the difference between a banjo and a boat anchor?







You tie a rope to a boat anchor before you throw it overboard.


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:32 pm
Offline
Professional Musician
Professional Musician
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:46 am
Posts: 2369
Location: Bergen,Norway
How many band members does it take to change a light bulb?
5 one to change the bulb and four to say "if we had more studio time, we could do a lot better than this"

_________________
It's a mix between Jazz and Funk, it's called "Junk"

Image


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:29 pm
Offline
Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2008 10:32 am
Posts: 390
Location: La-Z-Boy
how do you tell if the stage is leve?

there is drool coming out of both sides of the keyboardist's mouth.

_________________
It's okay, because the ball is on a string and attatched to the cup.


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:50 pm
Offline
Professional Musician
Professional Musician
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:48 pm
Posts: 2315
A father gives his son a bass for his 14th birthday, along with 4 free lessons at the music store.
When the son comes home after the first lesson, the father asks how it went.
The son replies, "I learned the first five frets on the E string."
The next week he learns the first five frets on the A string.
The following week he comes home smelling of cheap beer.
"What happened at the lesson today?" the father asks with suspicion.
The son replies, "Sorry Dad, I couldn't go to the lesson, I had a gig."

_________________
It wasn't Willy-Nilly, it was at crows.


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:55 pm
Offline
Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2007 9:47 am
Posts: 368
Location: PA
you know when ur a guitarist when your parents say they dented your fender and you run upstairs to look at your strat.

_________________
Shecter C-1 plus
squier stratocaster
yamaha rbx170(bass)
epiphone dr-100(acoustic)
Fender FM65DSP(amp)


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:22 pm
Offline
Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 6:48 pm
Posts: 517
Location: west virginia
make room i have alot comming

What do you say to a musician in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise..."

Why is the piano used in bands?
So musicians have a place to put their beers.

Three souls appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asked the first one, "What was your last job and annual salary?" The first soul replied, "$200,000; I was a trial lawyer." St. Peter asked the second one the same question. The soul answered, "$95,000; I was a realtor." St. Peter then asked the third soul the same question. The answer was "$10,000." Before he could go on, St. Peter immediately said "Cool! What instrument did you play?"

St. Peter was checking in three recently departed souls. "What did you do on Earth?" he asked the first one. "I was a surgeon; I helped the lame to walk." "Go right in through the Pearly Gates," said St. Peter. "What did you do on Earth?" he asked the second one. "I was a teacher; I taught the blind to see." "Go right in through the Pearly Gates," said St. Peter." "And what did you do on Earth?" he asked the third one. "I was a musician; I brought joy to sad people." "Good--you can load in through the kitchen," said St. Peter.


How do you know when there's a singer at your front door?
Because he can't find the key, and doesn't know when to come in.


If a drummer and a bass player fall off a building at the same time, who will hit the ground first?
Who cares?

more for you all tomorrow

_________________
Just a amatuer looking for tips

Current Gear:
1968 Kay Strat
Kramer Focus 111S
Johnson 15w amp
Squier Black and Chrone Special Tele


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:01 am
Offline
Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 12:40 pm
Posts: 873
Location: The Heartland
Why did the drummer cross the road?

who cares?

Why did the lead singer cross the road?

The light was better.


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:06 am
Offline
Hobbyist
Hobbyist
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:31 pm
Posts: 43
Location: Pennsylvania
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?


Just one.

He holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.


Top
Profile
Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:31 am
Offline
Professional Musician
Professional Musician
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:03 pm
Posts: 1222
Location: Texas
strato wrote:
One from my Bluegrass days.


What's the difference between a banjo and a boat anchor?







You tie a rope to a boat anchor before you throw it overboard.


omg that is so true!!


Top
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC - 7 hours

Fender Play Winter Sale 2020

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: stratmangler and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to: