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Post subject: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 5:29 pm
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Rock Star
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Figured it was time for another humour thread.
Post your puns here.

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Atheist students get lousy grades in math.
They won't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

John Deere's manure spreader is the only piece of equipment they sell they won't stand behind.

It's not that the guy didn't know how to juggle ... he just didn't have the balls to do it.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:41 pm
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Rock Star
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I entered a pun contest one time.

I sent in 10 entries, sure that one would win.....

.....but no pun in ten did! :lol:


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:06 pm
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Why can't you play the Bb correctly, he asked? Because I feel A# pain when I try.
I know, I sound guitarded.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:40 pm
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What is the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw a banjo into a dumpster without hitting the sides.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:28 pm
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I've been looking for one of those new camouflage guitars.
I can't seem to find one anywhere. :(


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:06 pm
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Rock Star
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Phil415 wrote:
Why can't you play the Bb correctly, he asked? Because I feel A# pain when I try.
I know, I sound guitarded.

Change it to G# and Ab, and you get an extra pun for free (in the German/Scandinavian note system, Ab is called "A s s").


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 12:44 pm
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I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive
But I knew the owner
He used to play for the Dolphins
I said "Hi Gil"
You have to yell, he's hard of herring

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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 1:20 pm
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arth1 wrote:
Change it to G# and Ab, and you get an extra pun for free (in the German/Scandinavian note system, Ab is called "A s s").

Show me a piano (with an out of tune G-sharp key, just for you, arth1) that's falling down a mine shaft
and I'll show you A-flat minor.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 1:41 pm
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I thought I had brought everything I needed. Amp, pedal board, cables, two axes, and plenty of cables. But my cheat sheets kept blowing off the amp.
Sometimes you have to take a stand.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 1:51 pm
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If you don't buy your kids an electric guitar, they might end up with sax and violins.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 1:57 pm
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pfox14 wrote:
What is the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw a banjo into a dumpster without hitting the sides.

I heard it was when you throw an accordion into a dumpster and it lands on the banjo.

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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:20 am
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"What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?
You are just jealous of me. The reason being - I make your spouse scream louder than you."

gothic pants


Last edited by jessicapayne on Mon Feb 10, 2014 10:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:55 am
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That's not actually a pun, Jess but thanks for the chuckle anyway.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:57 am
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Rock Star
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Nobody knew she had a dental implant until it came out one day in conversation.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


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Post subject: Re: Very Punny Stuff!
Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:59 am
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I watched a documentary on beavers last night. Best dam movie I ever saw.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


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