Understanding Women

53magnatone · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2012 4:54 pm

^^ What...No Software... :?:

Monalst · **Joined:** Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:39 pm **Posts:** 721

funny thread! and yes I am still peeking to see what mischief is going on!

truebluefliplover · **Joined:** Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:09 pm **Posts:** 378

BMW-KTM wrote:

I just recieved my copy of the 1st installment in a 124 part series on understanding women.

I have been married to my lovely Filipino wife since 1978 and I don't understand 10% of what is going on even when she is speaking English, let alone Taglish (Tagalog mixed with English). I love her completely but sometimes I feel like the Three Stooges are running around in her head telling her what to do!

slidewaysracing · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2012 8:07 pm

BMW-KTM wrote:

I just recieved my copy of the 1st installment in a 124 part series on understanding women.

You wuz ROBBED! I’ll let the secret out for free:
1. Love us
2. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT WE SAY, and REMEMBER IT! And then apply what you learned as appropriate.
3. Do what we ask you to do
4. Always remember 2 simple rules: #1 The woman is always right. #2 If you think the woman is wrong, see rule #1
5. No matter how ugly things get, women are goddesses and must be obeyed. If not obeyed, things will get REALLY ugly!

yodacaster wrote:

Good. Now you can tell me why it is that if I feel tired, frustrated, angry...whatever, it doesen't matter because my wife is more tired, more frustrated, more angry...more whatever than me!

That’s REALLY easy – it’s because she has to put up with you (a guy)

WI KISSfan wrote:

We'll never understand them anymore then they'll understand why we need more than one guitar!

There is some risk of bodily injury to you if you do this, but you might try explaining it as being somewhat like shoes or purses …

Monalst wrote:

I am sooooo out numbered in this forum..I make a quick retreat and remind myself I cannot engage in a war of words with so many unarmed people HA!

(Now running before fallout begins!)

We might be outnumbered, but you’re very right about the battle of wits with unarmed opponents. The Geico caveman commercials notwithstanding, men are essentially cavemen, who are simple creatures who like to play with fire (grilling), scratch themselves, drink beer and belch, and collect tools (which include axes). And they need axes of many different types and colors so that they will always have the right tool, and it will match whatever t-shirt or Hawaiian shirt they’re wearing. Plus they like shiny things.

ozrv wrote:

Here you go.....

This is true. Women must be very powerful (which translates to many options) to deal with the vast array of messes that men create. And of course, men are so easily distracted that we need to have a variety of tools to keep them entertained.

**********

cordas · **Joined:** Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:41 am **Posts:** 16

I stopped trying to understand women them long time ago, now I just take them for how they are. Take them or if I can't, leave them :lol:

Buxom · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:06 am

ozrv wrote:

Here you go.....

I imagine if you plugged the woman effect pedal in, it would make your guitar sound very whiny.

CRGuitarMan · **Joined:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 9:46 pm **Posts:** 2041

Buxom wrote:

I imagine if you plugged the woman effect pedal in, it would make your guitar sound very whiny.

As you get older, Buxom, you will discover that it makes a great deal of difference which room of the house you are in when you plug in your Woman Effect Pedal... sometimes it whines, sometimes it does other things. :shock:

I think I have mine figured out pretty well after 45+ years together, but, sorry, I still can't help you younger guys - you are strictly on your own!

cordas · **Joined:** Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:41 am **Posts:** 16

Buxom wrote:

I imagine if you plugged the woman effect pedal in, it would make your guitar sound very whiny.

Clapton's famous "woman tone"? :lol:

Buxom · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:15 am

It's difficult living at home. My mom goes out of her way to embarrass me in front of new effect pedals.

Buxom · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:16 am

Hopefully I'm buying a car soon, and hopefully it'l have leather interior so it'l be easier to clean. :lol:

53magnatone · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:21 am

Buxom wrote:

I imagine if you plugged the woman effect pedal in, it would make your guitar sound very whiny.

This..... /\ /\

That.... \/ \/

Buxom wrote:

It's difficult living at home. My mom goes out of her way to embarrass me in front of new effect pedals.

An Dat..... :roll:

\/ \/

Buxom wrote:

Hopefully I'm buying a car soon, and hopefully it'l have leather interior so it'l be easier to clean. :lol:

== A bit more grooming homework before venturing out .... :?:

Andybighair · **Joined:** Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:22 am **Posts:** 2175

CRGuitarMan wrote:

... if you are a wise man, you pick one woman and you figure her out and don't worry about the rest.

+1

That's working for me. I've pretty much been with Mrs Bighair since I was 16. This coming December we will have been together for as long as we have been apart... and I'm only 32!... :shock:

BTW...

Ceri wrote:

53magnatone wrote:

Is that Andy Big Hair...... :?:

...

No, that's me - after shaving.

This is true.

Ceri wrote:

Andy is much hairier than that.

This is also true.

Andy

ozrv · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 11:03 am

53magnatone wrote:

^^ What...No Software... :?:

If it only were that simple mate....... They are completely pre programmed and only reading BMW's manual or using my supercomputer will bear any fruit....... We've all tried software on those late too much beer nights and we know it does not work.... :lol:

53magnatone · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 1:34 pm

Nail on the head......observation....

If she pulls up in a Bimmer Uber Wagen than You'd better have your software updated.... :lol:

ripitup555 · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:28 pm

Something to do with multi-tasking I'm told, my wife does it naturally whilst I ( she say's) only do it when I'm told

I know, what does that mean

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