im on a old man foe list im so hurt i dont understand the narrow minded people on this fourm if they dont like something everything to do with it is garbage imo thats acting like a child

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B.C Rich Body Art Warlock "The Fly"--Blacktop Telecaster--ESP LTD EC-100--IbanezRG420EX--into A Fender Mustang III

That is your choice....However you failed to understand that once you posted your thread and it's theme, you were going to get more criticism than " Brilliant...He's a wunderkind "

Let's put it this way, take an assessment of this Forum's Members and the style of Music that predominates....Yours is in the small minority, especially since much of the membership are well over 25 years old....
Personally I find this style of music and it's brethren unlistenable, the down tuning as well as the emphasis on heavy distortion and basic bar chords mixes into a drone....I won't even go into what the growling vocals suggest.....Let's just say that I start laughing hysterically whenever I hear or see this....
Now that's me and obviously there are a lot of people who get off on this.... so be it.

Now that my somewhat Thumbs Down criticism is voiced Let's analyze your lyrics..

They are way over the top....Meaning that if your trying to tell a story, drowning it at the beginning Carrie style is not going to be regarded as creative....
There is too much emphasis on mayhem. If you really aspire to be a lyricist, you are going to have to find a way to differentiate your lyrics from the norm.
As a 14 to 18 year old I was constantly reading H.P. Lovecraft, Horror was always at the top of my Film List and so on and so forth.....
Believe me My Parents often wondered wether I needed a reboot... I always found bands more on the repugnant aspect of the cover art then the music.

Anyway...In a song which is really only about 3 to 5minutes long tops.....You have to set a scenery, tell a story as to why..when it begun...where it is at and possibly how it will end, but on this last point suspense always keeps them coming back for more, as well as if you temporarily run out of fresh material ( no puns intended ) you could always revisit and expand on the story line...I know it's great to meander along for 8 to 15 or more minutes but like anything else your audience has a short attention span and you have to sell your story to them before they book their exit visas...
That of course is if you wish to earn a living from being a lyricist since that will demand that your songs are commercially acceptable...Sorry but that is the world we live in...

Back to the lyrics you wrote, most of it is really like a comic book EXCEPT for the two lines about and I quote..... " Castration of Men upon the Rocks...Raping The Whores with Severed Cocks......"

Really seriously... Do you have an issue with women or girls I should say.. Because the middle line infers that you regard all females as Whores to be raped at will by the superior Male...
Good Luck selling that verse if the person who somewhere on the chain of command to your future is a woman...
It's totally unnecessary and there are ways to shock your audience while at the same time not offending them, especially on this subject of which really your entire song is set in a mythical medieval time.....Speaking of that, look at the old Conan the Barbarian Films, your lyrics fit in that genre but...they were careful not to step over the line..Hence the popularity of the Film Genre...

Anyway Good Luck, and perhaps someday I'll hear a song which I will like...
You never know...Time has a way of changing your lanes of travel......

PS...PLease..Please Proof read before you final post, grammatical errors are not cool...

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"C'est parti mon Kiki "

You have made some very astute points 53 Magnatone,I thought I was the only one who found the gutteral grumblings hysterical and the drop-tuned distortion a cover-up for pedestrian guitar playing.I also find it incredibly funny when grown men,well into their 30s,insist on wearing face masks-could it be that they're so ashamed of their playing etc. that they hide their true identities?I also find especially hilarious that not a single one of these death/thrash metal pseudo musicians can pose for a picture without their mouths wide open,faces screwed up and tongues sticking out like they just bit into a turd sandwich. All of this makes it even more difficult to take these Bozos seriously and see them for what they really are-a bunch of middle-aged business savy amatuer musicians who hit upon a great idea of how to pry the money from the hands of misguided teenagers by writing violent, misogynistic,repulsive lyrics put to a mesmerizing rythmic drone of distorted guitars and pounding drums.

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'65 Strat,65 Mustang,65 Jaguar,4 more Strats,3 vintage Vox guitars,5 Vox amps,'69 Bassman with a '68 2-15 Bassman cab,36 guitars total-15asst'd amps total,2 vintage '60s Hammond organs & a myriad of effects-with a few rare vintage ones.

I hate to disagree with you, but what you're talking about is Mallcore. It's the $@!&#* angst driven music that floods Hot Topics everywhere. (Hence the name, Mallcore.)

If you want actual metal, that was played by people with talent, and that had a serious impact, you should look no further than the band Death. Chuck Schuldiner could seriously play guitar, and could seriously convey what he was feeling. He wasn't the best singer, but you can actually understand him.

In Sacred Serenity, 2:30-2:57 is almost surreal. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-as4Laus ... ure=relmfu

Another one of those almost unbelievable songs is Empty Words. The whole thing is incredible. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha5VAfg_ ... re=related

Before you judge a whole genre, actually look for the best of it.

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1984 Squier Contemporary Stratocaster
1986 Peavey Envoy 110
1967 Kingston Acoustic

I have to watch out here- dirt flying in all directions Here's an amusing digression :
I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood . One silent evening I was sitting outside , enjoying the sunset. Suddenly I heard some creepy sounds - got a bit scared- thinking of possible wild animals around here . I stood up -trying to get an overview of the situation - ready to fight or run Suddenly i saw it - was it a demon ? No it was a young metal-guy ,dressed in black from his toe-tips to the last hair , listening to his iPod to his favorite music- and singing along with it With a really loud voice- growling like he came directly from hell I calmed down and got a good laugh for myself . Not exactly the humming you usually hear when people enjoying their music.......

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A-man

thats a pretty funny story

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B.C Rich Body Art Warlock "The Fly"--Blacktop Telecaster--ESP LTD EC-100--IbanezRG420EX--into A Fender Mustang III

Well Buxom if I listened to the second link you posted blind folded or not knowing who it was..I would have sworn the intro was Metallica so identity wise they are missing a signature..
Here is what I dislike the most about this so called music...It is dissonant, the drummer bass and guitars are all playing in a different time signature, there is absolutely no silence any where to be found in between notes. This a critical component of a musical structure which this genre and I pretty much lump 98% in the same bag couldn't care less. These bands don't play in a groove, sort of reminds me of the garage jams you went to hoping to find new players for a possible band and it ends up being a nightmare and a wasted trip...

Here is where I distinguish a guitarist, an actual musician... Take your guitar and amp and play clean, no effects, no distortion, no aid in altered tunings thru gadgets.. Just fingers, strings and an amp cranked when need be or at mid clean settings....Play Jazz,country, blues, some classical passages and better yet, combine these styles into a fluid improv...
That is why I can appreciate someone like John 5, Vai, Malmsteen, Satriani, Lynch, Schenker, the late Montrose, EVH and a host of others.

I tuned in to Slipknot on U-tube a couple days ago just to see and hear what I didn't know and maybe I was being overly critical before testing the waters.....
"" You have got to be kidding """ for 3 to 5 minutes I couldn't figure out what they were doing on stage or if that was still the stage hands still setting up...
I agree with Guitslinger...these guys were shrewd as to how to milk the golden goose, but as far as a musical entity....I'll pass, not to mention the outfits are just a little too creepy..
I mean that in an actual Homicidal Psychopath portrayal which really does not have anything to do with reality unless you are into serial killers...and aspire to be one....Fail

This is the reason why this genre is in bad taste...... A good Horror Film or story line always allows you to exit, there is a tongue in cheek statement being made, Pinhead was around the corner but you could lock him back in the box...Freddy you just had to be awake and as for Michael, being out of town on the Anniversary was a good idea...
Earlier versions of this genre like Alice Cooper were total camp...I mean How many bands of this genre would be able to say that they had Groucho Marx, Jack Benny, George Burns and Mae West in the audience or today the equivalent which would be Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Paula Poundstone, Ellen Degeneris, Bill Murray...
That says you have something artistic not just FX, anyone can do FX and drown it in Dropped D Drone....

On that Note I think I'll go visit Raimmstein and Manson....

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"C'est parti mon Kiki "

These posts aren't talking about actual metal, rather metalcore and nu-metal. These two genres take aspects of metal and apply them to radio-ready hard-rock aesthetics. It's music made to sell to 12 year olds.


Also, Slipknot isn't metal. They never were, and they never will be. For the love of god, if you want to check out metal, go look at my post.

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Former user Floyd_The_Barber.

Yeah nimrod, an old guy who actually made a living playing real music for 25years.
I've seen guys like you play the YMCA and high school gyms and rec centers for free.
Read the forum rules before you post the foul lyrics.

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Life...... It's sexually transmitted and always fatal

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Former user Floyd_The_Barber.

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Also, Slipknot isn't metal. They never were, and they never will be. For the love of god, if you want to check out metal, go look at my post.[/quote]


I did...Was there more than One band featured...
Was God part of that...

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"C'est parti mon Kiki "

i dont care if you made money off it for 25 years that dont mean your opinions are right and the music you dont like is crap

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B.C Rich Body Art Warlock "The Fly"--Blacktop Telecaster--ESP LTD EC-100--IbanezRG420EX--into A Fender Mustang III

Yeah nimrod, an old guy who actually made a living playing real music for 25years.
I've seen guys like you play the YMCA and high school gyms and rec centers for free.
Read the forum rules before you post the foul lyrics.[/quote]

i dont care if you made money off it for 25 years that dont mean your opinions are right and the music you dont like is crap[/quote]

Dry off your Knickers....Decomp...You are going to have to realize that this Forum really isn't a place where your lyrics are well received on a majority....
If you are going to be a lyricist, songwriter or part of a band, you have just failed the first test and that is to know your market share or your audience if that strikes more of a dissonant chord with you.. Well, lesson learned... Perhaps. ...Which is exactly what you struck here.....
There has been constructive criticism but if you wanted to get a response from that 2nd set of lyrics...You should have brought your Flame-Suit to the Party. You knew full well you would get some fire and brimstone from that 2nd one and to be honest....It's badly conceived and really just is an 86.....

Now you obviously offended some here and being a Newbie...I would tread lightly.
Your Gaffe, just because you call it music does not mean it has to be well received, it really is up to you to reach your audience.....Now wether you get them on at least a constructive critical discussion or you are simply banished as a Heretic.....The Choice is Yours.....

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"C'est parti mon Kiki "

i dont care if you made money off it for 25 years that dont mean your opinions are right and the music you dont like is crap[/quote]

Dry off your Knickers....Decomp...You are going to have to realize that this Forum really isn't a place where your lyrics are well received on a majority....
If you are going to be a lyricist, songwriter or part of a band, you have just failed the first test and that is to know your market share or your audience if that strikes more of a dissonant chord with you.. Well, lesson learned... Perhaps. ...Which is exactly what you struck here.....
There has been constructive criticism but if you wanted to get a response from that 2nd set of lyrics...You should have brought your Flame-Suit to the Party. You knew full well you would get some fire and brimstone from that 2nd one and to be honest....It's badly conceived and really just is an 86.....

Now you obviously offended some here and being a Newbie...I would tread lightly.
Your Gaffe, just because you call it music does not mean it has to be well received, it really is up to you to reach your audience.....Now wether you get them on at least a constructive critical discussion or you are simply banished as a Heretic.....The Choice is Yours.....[/quote]

yah i did know that the 2nd set was get me "fire and brimstone" but some people wernt assholes about the 1st ones and liked them and i dont care how many people didnt like them if you didnt like the 1st set why bother click on the second one
just to put some childish condescending remarks i though pretty much everyone was older then me on this forum if so they dont act it

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B.C Rich Body Art Warlock "The Fly"--Blacktop Telecaster--ESP LTD EC-100--IbanezRG420EX--into A Fender Mustang III

That may very well be but you did post that on a Forum, a public one and even if there was a warning of offensive lyrics, sometimes it's best to just not say anything, otherwise you have opened the door for replies..

Sort of like herding Cats....
You are going to get scratched in the attempt to get them back inside the corral...

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"C'est parti mon Kiki "