if playing that guitar helps you or takes you to a happy place, if only for a short time, thats a good thing. almost every day i do the same thing. my wife understands this and never complains. its weird that she can tell what mood i'm in from the music i play. (maybe not that weird).
i'm 44 now and those bad times are long gone. i had to let go of the resentment and hate i held for such a long time. we are not close but i love my parents very much. my mom is going thru cancer treatment and the thought of losing her is on my mind constantly.
forgive me for not being able to convey my point in an eleoquent manner like Mr. Ceri. what i mean is some day you will look back on the early years and realize that it made you stronger as a person.

AA and other orginasations that deal with alcholism, often offer support groups for family members of alcholics, wether that person is in the program or not. It can help alot to meet people that are in similar position as you. And it might get your father to change his way of thinking if he starts noticing how he affects those who are close to him.
That happened in my family. My father used to have some whiskey and beer and listen to some music in the living room before going to sleep, and at some point he was starting to drink himself drunk and would often drink himself to sleep on the sofa, and I am pretty sure he went at least once drunk to work. But after my mom started going to support group for people with co-dependency he started to think about things and after he took together the cost after a two week camping trip where the highest cost effect was his alcohol comsumption he started to drink way less. He still drinks alittle with food and might get drunk socially but he is a totally diffrent man today.

_________________
Deyr fé
Deyja frændr
Deyr sjálfr ið sama
En orðstír
Deyr aldregi
Hveim er sér góðan getr

+5

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1995 Fender Mustang

Thanks guys for the support, and ideas and all,
If it gets worse I'll look into some kind of treatment for him or like a support group thing for my sister and I,
thanks y'all, it means alot,

_________________
"He who hates me hates my Father as well."
John 15:23

Talman Ibanez Inner City-Suizy Q
2002 American-Made Fender Telecaster-Vengence
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe III

+6

Stay strong T Well!

_________________

Hi Tessa, I see you reached out for help, support, guidance and/or opinions. Even if it was just a way to vent and tell your story it's OK. Again, you did the right thing. It still saddens me to see you struggling with life experiences way too complex for teenagers like you and your sister. Do you have a family member or someone close to you, who could help you? You said in your post that it would probably be safer to live with your mother, then maybe you should consider to make the move. Ask her what she thinks about the situation. You know, even if we love them, some persons seem to need to hit the wall to realize what is going on, but you and your sister don't have to be a collateral damage in the process. I'm not sure about this, but you seem to think that your father needs your help. Well he certainly needs help, but not from you. It is not your job to take care of him and protect him, it should be the other way around. On the other hand, you take care of your sister and you try to cope with the day to day routine that takes place in a home. You can be proud of that, because every situation where you can step forward and work at your level of expertise is good for your ego, your pride, your self esteem. And if it can give you a sense of control over the unknown, the unexpected and the stuff that could happen when your dad is not there, it will make you a better adult later in life, because you are already a super teenager. Again, it is not my job to tell you what you should do, but, ask guidance from a family member, a relative, friends or the governmental organization that take care of kids in your town. You don't have all the tools needed to deal with this situation, so do the right thing, ask for serious help ASAP. You should know that, as adults, we sometimes have to change things in our lives, and we know what we have to do, but often, we face the fear of change. The tolerable harshness of life is still more attractive and bearable than the fear of the unknown and the uncertain positive changes that could happen for a better quality of life. Every adult is like that to a certain degree. Lastly, these decisions are not yours to make. But what you can do at your level of expertise is ask for help before something bad happens. It is clear to me from your original post, that you realize what is going on in your life. ¨You'll get by with a little help from your friends¨. Now go find them and make a small step for today, but a giant leap for you and your family for the future. Good luck Tessa, you're smart, you'll get by. You're the role model for your younger sister, so she'll get by too.
Claude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POmB5p-6tPE