My thanks to the Russian Navy for that.

Cheers - C

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You're on a oneway trip to an exploding codpiece, ain'tcha, mate?

And that's as Spinal as it gets.



Cheers - C

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Oh my! That is way too funny! Thanks for posting the StoneHenge photo! Brings my favorite line to light:


I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

Well, I walk in to the venue--clean cut, straight and sober, I don't hit on the women, I don't cuss (much) and I don't like druggies--so he picked up on the tense vibe and just jumped to conclusions. Plus, people have told me I look like a cop, especially when I was a bit heavier. I don't know why, but it's happened time and again.

With that particular band, we played near the downtown courthouses in Fort Worth a lot, so there were a few judges and attorneys as well as policemen who would come down "slumming" to listen to the blues bands. One family court judge would sit in and sing "Reconsider Baby" with us quite often.


The Dipsomaniacal Mr. Blow and I have very little contact any more. We occasionally run across one another in the normal course of our lives, and I succeed in being civil to him. Occasionally he reciprocates, but more often than not, he either pretends not to see me or is somewhat curt. 
His loss, not mine.

We grew up together; he was the person who sold me my first two guitars and my first amplifier, as well as taught  me my first three chords--two of them incorrectly. Many of my notorious/ridiculous tales of stupidity come from the time period when we were in our late teens/early twenties, trying to live out as many ZZ Top songs as we could. "Arrested for Driving While Blind" never came true (thank goodness), but we came very close a few times.

As I said, we cut off association the first time when I started dating the Future Lady Armadillo; part of the problem was the fact he had asked her out multiple times, but he took her rejection personally. At the time, I thought he and I just weren't "good" together. It wasn't until later that I realized he was poisonous.

The period between the field sobriety incident and the forming of the Screamin' Armadillos was about eleven years; I had hoped he grew up and grew out of that Early 20's Male Idiocy syndrome, but obviously not.

...and it's a pity, because he's a fabulously talented guitarist who can raise the level of the band around him, when he stays sober.

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Good Vibes To Y'all!



Screamin' Armadillos
Texas Roadhouse Music
Guitar/Slide Guitar/Harp/Vocals

I guess if you play enough 'amateur' gigs, then the incidents will stack up.

In one band, I thought something odd was going on with the drums (even odder than the usual drum odd..) I looked around to see the drummer desperately trying to hold on to his bass drum as it was creeping forward everytime he stomped on the pedal. He chased that kit around for about 5 numbers..

I played a show with one band, and the singer had gone down with laryngitis. I was the keys player and knew most of the numbers so I was singing them best I could. At half time, our guitar player came up to me and said their old vocalist was at the gig (she was before my time in that band) and she would do a few of the numbers as a guest 'artiste'.. I said fine, no worries. When she got on the stage, I quickly realised 2 things: 1) She was gorgeous - 2) She was completely tone dumb.. She squawked and wheezed her way through 3 numbers while i was in something like a state of shock. The rest of the band all seemed completely non-plussed about it all. When the guitarist finally saw my frantic throat slashing gestures, he bought her performance to a merciful conclusion, and I sang out the rest of the set.

Afterwards, I spoke to the guitarist (great player, lovely bloke, mad as a fish on a bike) and said "what the hell was that all about?" He casually responded by saying that she never could hit a note and that's why they'd sacked her originally.. Needless to say, within a week I was back with my old band..

On Nikki's pyrotechnics angle, another old band I've played with were doing a xmas show, and I'd gone along to watch and see what they were up to. I chatted to them beforehand and observed them breaking up pieces of polystyrene into tiny pieces. They told me the guitar player had rigged up a pipe cannon of some description, and the polystyrene bits were going to be shot out of it, over the audiences heads where they would fall as snow during their version of "I Believe in Father Xmas" .. Well I had immediately had my doubts but said nothing When the moment came, I saw the flash - but there was no polystyrene snow.. They looked a bit puzzled but carried on with the song. However, from my vantage point, I could see the big black hole that had suddenly appeared in the ceiling of the function room they were playing in. The funniest part was that they had no idea what they'd done till they finished the set and came off the stage. I left just as the shouting started..

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Fender Highway & Classic 60s Strats, Fender Toronado, Telecaster, Gretsch Projet, Charvel 3, PRS SE Soapbar II & Custom 24, Burns Batwing and many others!

I have it on good authority that I don't need pyrotechnics for fireworks in the groin area.

Yeah OK I made that up.

Adey, we may be playing the Adam And Eve on the 27th.

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No no and no

Adam & Eve in Digbeth? Cool.. Count me in if you do it - just let me know when you confirm..

And just understand that I wouldn't normally go south of the River Rea at those late hours..

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Fender Highway & Classic 60s Strats, Fender Toronado, Telecaster, Gretsch Projet, Charvel 3, PRS SE Soapbar II & Custom 24, Burns Batwing and many others!

_________________
Good Vibes To Y'all!



Screamin' Armadillos
Texas Roadhouse Music
Guitar/Slide Guitar/Harp/Vocals

Me neither. Don't like to boast, but...



Cheers - C

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Your back must hurt all the time.

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Good Vibes To Y'all!



Screamin' Armadillos
Texas Roadhouse Music
Guitar/Slide Guitar/Harp/Vocals

Last year in school there was a charity concert one lunch time. The second band on were a few guys I know who are a couple of years above me. About three songs into their set all of the sound suddenly stopped and they all just stood there for a few seconds. I went back stage, curious as to what had happened and someone told me "Uhhh, the crash cymbal came off its stand and sort of flew through the air and cut the power to the PA". Apparently no-one had thought it was an issue that there was no nut or "black thingy" on the stand to prevent such an occurrence.

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Rated "M" for meaty.

played in a 1/2 original 1/2 cover tune band. the originals were mostly...........kinda soft. good tunes but not alot of punch.
well, we get booked to a club we'd never been to. we get there and i immediately notice the sound man is snorting coke off the board. the joint smells like a joint. the stage has a hole in it with a welcome mat over it. (my side). the 2 bands we opened for are there and look like they eat sheet metal for dessert. we were nervous to say the least. while we were playing i watched the bartender smash a bottle and tell a drunk dude to leave. (actually kinda cool). we blasted thru our set and loaded up. i always stay and listen to bands that are kind enough to let us open. i couldn't understand one lyric and it made my throat sore listening.
but, each person working in the bar told us we sounded great and hoped we would be back. a couple of the other band members complimented our talent and song writing. sure, we were fish out of water but we played anyway.
the show must go on. right?

Yep petrol Zippo and Newark airport don't mix..."just step in here sir someone will be along shortly" but my plane's just abou...why is everybody staring at me .......Mother!!!

Mine was due to me carrying unusual electrical devices in my carry on luggage.

Nothing depraved, just a zoom multi-effects.
It was at Stanstead Airport. Which is designated as England's "In the event of a hijack, divert to here" airport. Having runways that are miles from anywhere and a SAS team permanently garrisoned there. Apparently.

Still, not pleasant is it RIP? You know that is why the Birmingham 6 were jailed. The soap they'd washed with reacted with the swab chemical. In the hysteria after the pub bombings. Soap was mistaken for nitroglycerine. So we're told.

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No no and no

Huh. Stansted used to be such a quiet, cozy little airport where you could be through and on your way in 15 minutes flat. Now it's a seething caldron of raging humanity at it's crudest, and new runways and terminals coming, apparently, so it will only get worse (small is beautiful in the world of aviation).

I'm the guy who never, ever gets stopped at security, but just the other day I got completely taken apart at Stansted. First time anyone's looked in my baggage in literally 25 years. They were completely friendly and humorous about it, but if I'd had so much as an illegal paperclip on me they'd have found it. Talk about thorough!

And then just as I was leaving the security area another guy came up with the explosives detector device thingie and we did the whole routine all over again!

Blimey, I felt safe on that flight!

Cheers - C

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