The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability. ~Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1849

This thread is for puns and other horrible groan inducing jokes. I know this forum is filled with members who have a quick wit as well as a good sense of humor, so I figure, why not take it down a notch for a day or two?

I'll begin:

I submitted ten puns hoping one would win the pun contest, but no pun in ten did.

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I traded my car in for a microphone.

She was only a stableman's daughter but all the horsemen knew her.

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You dig?

When I ate German with my family a while ago, my mom asked me what dish I thought was the best. I told her, "I thought it was the wurst. Ha wurst, get it?" Got slapped for that one >_>

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I traded my car in for a microphone.

Able was I ere I saw Elba is not a pun but rather a Palindrome.

Ok...I'll play by the rules....

It could be described as ...Mit or Newt.... But it perhaps should not be as....Newt-or-Mit....

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"C'est parti mon Kiki "

Alright, this is my last one for the day, this thread is starting to feel punitive.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

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I traded my car in for a microphone.

Sorry, gone chopin; don't worry though, I have the liszt and I'll be bach in a minuet or so!

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Being able to play and enjoy music is a gift that's often taken for granted.

Don't leave home without it!

No one here uses memes but me.

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1984 Squier Contemporary Stratocaster
1986 Peavey Envoy 110
1967 Kingston Acoustic

When kings are falling from the sky is it reigning men?
----Danny,

Things at rehearsal struck AMajor chord with me last night:
The guitarist couldn't play because he was strung-out and amped-up...
The pianist couldn't play because he was too keyed up...
The drummer couldn't play because he was confused by the notation cymbols...
The bassist couldn't play because he was lost in time and his bass was cleft in eighths...his wife told him to fretless, they could a-forte another one...
The violinist was too busy fiddling around with her g-string...
The saxophonist couldn't play because he couldn't reed...
The vocalist couldn't sing because she lost her fal-set-o' teeth...
The Luthier stopped working because his wife, Rose-would fret too much...
The harmonica player blew...
The trumpeter was all blown out...
The trombonist was full of hot air...
The piper was a real wind bag...
The harpist was plucking her nylons...
The synth player was getting midi-val on the Indian percussionist because he wouldn't take his medicine tabla-ts...
The lighting crew was in the dark...
The sound man was mixed-up and board...
and the conductor was baton top of everything else.

"...if you're in-come is less than your out-go, it will be the down-fall of your up-keep!"

thats a winner. G... A sharp minor would have been above it.

I was in a bookshop today and a woman asked if I knew where the German philosophy section was. I said "Gee, thats kind of a nietzsche market."

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Rated "M" for meaty.

We were coming home from an Eric Clapton concert and stopped in a Denny's. After I order a strawberry shortcake, the waitress came back and said I couldn't have it because they ran out of the cake. I said:

"That's O.K.. just give it to me short cake!"


True story.

A guy walks into a Psychiatrist office wearing only a pair of plastic wrap shorts .The shrink said, I can clearly see, your nuts.

If you want to make a pun out of dunlop,then lop off the lop and the pun is dun.
----Danny,