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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:59 am
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A banjo player is thoughtless enough to leave his banjo in his unlocked car. Sure enough, when he comes back, two banjos.

5 guys playing 4 chords to 10000 people is called metal. 4 guys playing 10000 chords to 5 people is called jazz.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:05 pm
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If you drop a watermelon and a guitar player off the top of a 10-story building, which hits the ground first?

Who cares?

----------

Did you hear the one about the bass player who locked his keys in his car?

It took him two hours to get his drummer out!

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:31 pm
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A Forum member wrote this a long time ago

"So. A talking dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman is most surprised; "Amazing! A talking dog - who'd have thunk? Here's your drink." The dog drinks up and leaves.

Next day the barman is at work and a guy comes in who from his attire is obviously the showmaster in a circus - he's wearing a top hat, tails, a spangly vest, etc. As the barman is setting up the guy's drink he mentions; "You work in a circus? You should have been in here yesterday. I served a drink to someone I'm sure you'd like to meet - a talking dog!"

The guy says; "Yeah really? Amazing! If that talking dog comes in again please ask him to come and see me. I believe I could offer him a job..."

Next day the barman is working when in comes the talking dog again. As the barman is pouring his drink he says; "Yesterday there was a guy in here who would very much like to meet you. He's the ringmaster in a circus."

The talking dog takes a pull on his drink and says; "Oh yeah? Why - does he need a trombone player?" "
had to have at least one trombone player joke lol.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:51 pm
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Whats the range of a Tuba?
About 20 yards if you have a good arm.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:56 pm
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How can you tell if a guitarist is at your Dore?
By the Domino's Pizza hat.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:08 pm
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Why did the drummer stare at the frozen juice can?
Because it said, concentrate. :? :lol:
----Danny,


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:12 pm
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a keyboard player's arm?
A Tattoo.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:33 pm
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Two little boys talking to each other. One sais, My mom wont let me watch TV any more.
The other little boy asks, Why? The first one replied, To much Sax & Violins. :wink:
----Danny,


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:36 pm
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Q: How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 12,001. One to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:37 pm
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Q; How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about how the good the old one was.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


Last edited by BMW-KTM on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:49 pm
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Q: What words came out of the singer's mouth when he was doing his very best work?

A: "Would you like fries with that?"

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:51 pm
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rileymcc wrote:
Buxom wrote:
rileymcc wrote:
what do you call a zombie in a percussion section?...

hungry


I don't get it.

a class mate made that one up. you see, at our school we have this joke going around that percussionist's are D-U-M-B and have no brains cause all they do is hit stuff, it doesn't take that much skill.
so percussionist have no brains
zombies feed off brains,
leaving a zombie hungry amongst percussionist's


I have a friend who is a drummer. He has an insane amount of skill and precision. The rumor that drummers are dumb is really dumb in its own light.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:03 pm
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Guy walks into the doctor's office, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in over a week."
Doc fills out a prescription for a mild laxative and says, "If this doesn't do the trick you just let me know."
A week later the guy returns and says, "Still no bowel movement, Doc."
Doc writes another scrip but this time for a very powerful laxative instead of a mild one.
Week later the guy comes back, "Still nothing, Doc."
Doc says, "Oh my. I wonderif it's stress related. What do you do for a living?"
Guy says, "I'm a musician."
Doc cheers right up and says, "Oh well that explains everything. Here's $15. Go get something to eat."

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:42 pm
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Q: What is the least used sentence in the English language?
A: "Hey look, there's the banjo player's Porsche."

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:51 pm
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BMW-KTM wrote:
Q; How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about how the good the old one was.


Brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 8)

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