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Post subject: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:57 pm
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Q: How do you get two bass players to play in unison?
A: Shoot one.

Q: What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A: Who cares? Neither one is a guitar.

Q: How do you know if the stage is level?
A: The drummer drools out of BOTH sides of his mouth.

Q: What do you call a lead singer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:14 pm
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IMSRV. 'Nuff said.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:19 pm
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Here are a few...

"Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a guitar player!"
"Now Johnny, you can't do both!"

Two guys were walking down the street ...one was destitute ...
the other was a guitar player as well ..

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
Drool.

And one for the drummers...

"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer."

T2

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:19 pm
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Aspiring Musician
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Location: Australia, VIC
what do you call a zombie in a percussion section?...

hungry

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:55 pm
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Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: Five. One to actually screw it in, and four others to say how they could have done it better.

(Don't worry guys I use to be a lead 8) )

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:03 pm
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rileymcc wrote:
what do you call a zombie in a percussion section?...

hungry


I don't get it.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:12 pm
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Buxom wrote:
rileymcc wrote:
what do you call a zombie in a percussion section?...

hungry


I don't get it.

a class mate made that one up. you see, at our school we have this joke going around that percussionist's are D-U-M-B and have no brains cause all they do is hit stuff, it doesn't take that much skill.
so percussionist have no brains
zombies feed off brains,
leaving a zombie hungry amongst percussionist's

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:23 pm
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb ?


TWO......
One to hold the light bulb and one to spin the stool.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:22 am
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How do you know when a drummer is at the door?

The knocking speeds up.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:01 am
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My all time fav...

What do you call five musicians playing five different songs?

Jazz

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:05 am
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What's the difference between a dead oboe player and a dead dog on the side of the road?

The dog might have been on his way to a gig!

Also, there were braking skid marks near the dog...

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:44 am
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A Roadie had his van stolen from right in front of the venue.

As the thieves drove off, he was fast-thinking enough to write down the license plate number.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:19 am
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How can you tell when there's a singer at the door?

He can't find the key and he doesn't know when to come in anyway.

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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:22 am
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Q: How do you put a sparkle in your lead singer's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.


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Post subject: Re: Musician Jokes .... feel free to add some.
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:25 am
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Q: What is the least used sentence in the English language?
A: "Hey look, there's the banjo player's Porsche"

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