Hello friends.

I started a new three-piece band in January this year after I broke up my old band. When things were new and fresh I really felt like we could accomplish things and play a show every now and then. Maybe record a couple of songs. We managed to record two tracks live in rehearsal after a month or so, and people really seemed to like what we were doing.

Then I injured my left hand in a bizarre hangover accident and I couldn't play guitar properly for about two or three months (I still made it to rehearsals to the best of my ability though). Then the drummer got stressed out from his $@!&#* job and had a lot of migraine headaches for a period of time (= no rehearsals). I also have a fairly new and kinda stressful job and it drains a lot of my energy. The bass player left about two months ago 'cause he wanted to go and live with his gf in another city far away. All good and fair, no hard feelings...but he was damn good. Contacted the bass player from my old band and recruited him to fill the empty spot. He has a one-year-old daughter who takes up most of his time off work. Now the drummer's gonna have his second kid in about a week, meaning he will probably be tied up for at least two months.

I don't blame either of them for having a family. We're all somewhere between 30 and 40. But DAMN, it bugs me that I can't seem to get things off the ground! I'm always the one who wants to rehearse twice a week and get things done. It seems the others are quite content not pushing the envelope very much when it comes to songwriting, rehearsing and recording. The results are boring songs, rehearsals are cancelled on short notice...and a status quo. We have a bunch of pretty decent left-over songs from my old band to adapt to a three-piece environment, so I don't have to write songs like a maniac to keep things going. That's one good thing at least.

So now you're thinking: "Hey, quit whining and find some other dudes who share your vision!". You're right. I really should. Am I a total dick for wanting to assume almost total creative control? I know I can write good songs and I'm hoping some day I'll meet someone who'll be into the same kinda stuff that I'm into - heavy rock á la Pentagram/Mountain/Sabbath/Zep/The James Gang/Captain Beyond etc etc etc.

Guess I'll have to turn a few stones and see what/who I can find in my home town. Sorry for the rant. It just had to come out in a safe environment

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'94/'07 Bastard-o-caster (MIM/Hwy1 hybrid)
'11 Gibson SG Std Ltd
'10 Gibson LP Std Trad Pro
'04 Gibson SG Special w/f with SD Phat Cats
BaCH Telecaster
'97 Marshall JCM900 4500 DR
'64 Selmer Treble n Bass 50 head
Marshall 1960B
Various stompboxes

hey man i know how you feel i broke up with my band about 7 months ago for some really hard reasons... i don't regret it but i do admit it's hard to get into a band now... i've tried 3 different bands but don't like either one for diferent reasons... i miss my gigging days a lot but there is always hope that something good will happen... just keep believing in your music that's all that really matters in the end man

man, i know exactly what you are going thru. the trick is finding like-minded people

i have gigged sparsely over the last 30 years. i talked to several of my musician friends. one has a good band, but the guys don't want to practice often. their gigs are getting predictable, with almost every one playing the same songs in the same order. my buddy is getting frustrated, but the twice a month gigs make him happy. not in it for the money, but for fun.

it sems you either find guys who are way too serious, and want to spend all their free time practicing so everything is perfect, or guys who are doing this because they want to be a rock star-or so they think.

Sounds like your comeing to a sort of cross rodes in your life. For the sake of your music do some real soul searching, before you make any rash decisions. If for what ever reason you shold decide to give it up for a while, take it from me. It will be tough to get started again if ever. You will regret it for the rest of your life. Never forget that your music is as much a part of ho you are as any thing.
----Danny,

I know the frustration that you are feeling,I live in a town of about 1,200 people and most guys my age are either playing country music or traditional Irish music or an amalgam of the 2. A lot of guys in their 30s,40s and even 50s have family and day job commitments that prevents them from playing.The biggest city of our province-St. John's-is about a 1/2 hour drive and not any people want to commute that far to jam or practice so I'm stuck,dying to play but nobody to play with unless I get into Vince Gill or the Clancy Bros. and that ain't gonna happen.

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'65 Strat,65 Mustang,65 Jaguar,4 more Strats,3 vintage Vox guitars,5 Vox amps,'69 Bassman with a '68 2-15 Bassman cab,36 guitars total-15asst'd amps total,2 vintage '60s Hammond organs & a myriad of effects-with a few rare vintage ones.

It can be incredibly difficult to maintain a successful band, primarily because you need commitment from everyone who is involved. And as adults, we have other important commitments which we need to tend to, so it's a lot harder than when we're teenagers.

Some friends and I had a band that broke up earlier this year. Things started out well. We had put together some interesting original music, recorded several songs and even played a few gigs. It was lots of fun, and very satisfying. But things eventually fell apart, and a big reason for that was work and family comitments.

I, myself, have a two-year-old daughter, and I found it very hard to stay comitted to the band and fulfill my responsibilities as a husband and father. It became difficult to justify being out of the house for several hours every weekend to rehearse when my wife was at home alone with a rambunctious toddler. The other band members also had adult responsibilities which kept them from devoting the time neccessary to develop the band as we wanted to -- eventually we decided to pack it in. No hard feelings!

I'd say that if things aren't working out , it might be a good idea to call it quits and try to find some other musicians who have both the time and the willingness to devote themselves to the music. Try posting an ad on Craigslist. Do it while you still can -- you may not always have time to devote to a band that you do now.

Unless you find a bunch of robots, this will always create problems, like it or not. Turn it around and think how long you'd last in a group where the bass player was calling all the shots. My last group only started making good music after the overbearing lead guitarist started backing off and asking for participation. I rewrote his crappy lyrics, the lead singer came up with some great harmony and harp parts, the drummer let loose and the songs came together. Prior to that he was sure he'd written the perfect songs and knew exactly what everyone else should be doing. I was surprised the drummer didn't clobber him early on.

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'10 American Deluxe HSS Sunset Metallic
'10 JA-90 Thinline Telecaster
'15 Music Man JP-15 Blueberry Burst
'07 Les Paul Standard Faded LCPG #82
'14 Carvin ST300
'12 Carvin CS424S
'66 Guild Starfire IV w/Bigsby
'14 Warmouth Partscaster Daphne Blue

Maybe we should trade places....I'm pretty sure you can find someone in Austin, TX who likes your type of music....while I'd love to jam with somebody who's even HEARD of Great Big Sea.

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"Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you -- one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records." - Christopher Walken as The Bruce Dickinson

It takes years, and I mean years, for a band to get anywhere. If you 're ready to give up after 10 months, it ain't for you.

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Tune Low, Play Hard & Floor it!

The hard fact to accept is that muso's don't commit to a band that is no good. It's gotta be good all round. Not just from one perspective.

Hope it gets sorted soon. Take a look at the setlist. You gotta play to an audience, not yourselves. That's my experience.

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No no and no

Thanks, people.

Giving up is not an option.

Someone pointed put that it takes years and years to get anywhere and that's totally true. But if something feels kinda off after ten months you have to start asking yourself if you're in a band with the right people. There's always gonna be a difference of creative opinion in a band - and that's a good thing - but I've always wanted to push harder than my present band mates. We were the core of my old band aswell, so you might say the problems were passed on from one band to the other. One of my personal issues is that I'm impatient. I want things to work out fast. But I'm totally OK with the fact that getting somewhere will take time if it ever happens. I just want to play live every now and then, write good songs and record them. I don't wanna be huge.

I guess the real reason behind me wanting more creative control is the fact that the others have a tendency to lean slightly towards the heavy rock of the early '80s...and I friggin' HATE the vast majority of '80s rock music.

All in all a good song is a good song, no matter who comes up with it. In a perfect band there would be a Lennon to my McCartney so to speak - someone with similar taste that I could throw ideas at and have ideas thrown at me too. I'd love to find players who know the blues, their Sab/Zep/Mountain etc and were willing to rehearse two nights a week for 2 hrs at a time...and of course play live, write good songs and record them.

Thanks everyone for your support and understanding, I wish you all the best!

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'94/'07 Bastard-o-caster (MIM/Hwy1 hybrid)
'11 Gibson SG Std Ltd
'10 Gibson LP Std Trad Pro
'04 Gibson SG Special w/f with SD Phat Cats
BaCH Telecaster
'97 Marshall JCM900 4500 DR
'64 Selmer Treble n Bass 50 head
Marshall 1960B
Various stompboxes

Heavypsych, I feel your pain. My band isn't going anywhere either. In fact, practices have dropped off altogether, being replaced with golf (we practiced Saturday afternoons). Now, I do love my golf, but I love guitar and jamming much more and am really bummed that things have petered out. I also tried to get an idea when we'd be ok as a band to play out and the response was we need at least 7 originals, from the guy who's house we practice in. Well, no one is writing except me, and I instantly hate everything I pen, so that's going no where as well. In sum, I understand your frustration as I'm currently treading water. But hey! I'm the best guitarist in my bedroom. (yippee.)

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I'm the best guitarist in my bedroom.

Be thankful you have the talent to be in a band, any band!

Some of us will never achieve that.

Me.

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I remember when we were free!