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Post subject: UPS Airlines?? Or, another take on your favorite shipper.
Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:33 am
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I was sent this - thought it was "interesting":lol: - and thought I'd share it with those here. I hope you like it too. :)

How does this relate to Fender? We all have used UPS when we order guitars, or amps, or whatever.

Even the local music store has to get his stock shipped in. Usually by UPS.

----------------------------------------------

UPS Airlines


Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

*

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

*

P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit

*

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

*

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

*

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

*

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

*

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

*

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

*

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

*

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

*

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

*

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

*

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

*

And the best one for last

*

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.


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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:42 am
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Hahaha!!!!! These are hilarious! :D


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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:53 am
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:D :) :D :) :D :) 8) :o :lol: :lol:

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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:03 am
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that is so funny!!! i am goign to post this on my space!!!


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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:35 am
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I'm glad you like it. :D


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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:05 pm
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haha, thanks for that


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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:11 pm
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Quote:
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


I can remember filling out answers like that when I was in the USAF taking care of the weapons system on F-101Bs.

Brought a big smile :D

Gil 8)

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:57 pm
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LOL!

UPS sucks though. :?

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Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:15 am
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giljanus wrote:
Quote:
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


I can remember filling out answers like that when I was in the USAF taking care of the weapons system on F-101Bs.

Brought a big smile :D

Gil 8)


;) I can appreciate that ;)

I'm glad all those here have enjoyed it and seen the humor, and not been offended.

lonelyhearts wrote:
LOL!

UPS sucks though. :?



Actually, they have been doing better with our stuff - for about 6 months now. I hope this trend continues. We'll see.


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:03 am
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I worked in the cargo dept. for an airline for 13 years. My best advice when you ship an instrument, make sure its padded extra well for the rough handeling and most of all...PUT A LOCK ON IT !


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:35 am
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JPD wrote:
I worked in the cargo dept. for an airline for 13 years. My best advice when you ship an instrument, make sure its padded extra well for the rough handeling and most of all...PUT A LOCK ON IT !



Yes, agreed. I have heard others say much the same thing.
I was told from someone that worked putting the baggage in the plane, that he saw some other handlers were not only throwing things, but opening whatever they could and taking what they could get away with.

You would definitely want to lock it. But how do keep him from just picking it up and walking off with the whole thing. The case already has a handle for carrying it - so it would be easy enough.

Even if you pack it in another box - I have seen in the past many boxes arrive mysteriously "busted open". Always made me wonder what kind of impact it would take to rip open a box like that, without crushing at least one corner. The first Fender Deluxe Reverb reissue I ordered arrived like that - and the reverb didn't work. It went back. The second one arrived in good condition.


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:21 am
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Its not an impact that makes the box open, its a handler whos curious as to its contents. I would put the case inside another box, something rectangular to hide the shape of the guitar. If your shipping a guitar you should do your best to disguise it as best as you can. Cargo handlers need to load a plane in a hurry due to time turn around alotments. They only have 3 hours to unload then reload an aircraft or the airline gets a fine of $ 500 every half hour that it goes beyond its take off slot. You can bet things are going to get thrown around so take the extra precaution of padding it as much as you can. The extra weight of packaging is worth knowing your instrument is going to arrive in one piece.


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:09 pm
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after saying that UPS had been doing better - we received another shipment.
One box was flat. I don't mean crushed a little. It was flattened.

It contained a mirror that was wrapped in bubble wrap, then cardboard, more bubble wrap, then the box. Would you believe the mirror was intact, without a scratch!?!?

They tried hard with this one, but it still made it through OK.

Just proves what has been said - pad and wrap what ever you ship very well - because one of their employees might decide to try to destroy it.

The reason for the frequent shipments is my wife has business. She has to order her stock in every week from half way across the country. UPS had been doing so well that I thought maybe they had fired the trouble makers and hired some good people. Looks like there is still at least one bad apple in the barrel.

I hope they find him and point him toward some other job.

I've been thinking of buying another Strat - so I would really like for it to arrive intact.

Anyway, I got off topic here. Sorry

As far as I know, their airlines record is like said in the original post.
I have no idea if their maintenance records are like the examples - but it was funny to me. It sounded like it could be all to true.
:D


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