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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 7:49 am
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A dyslexic walks into a bra...


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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 6:18 pm
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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender to line ten shots of bourbon up on the bar. The bartender obliges, and the man proceeds to drink one after the next. When he finishes the last shot, the bartender says, "Wow. I've never seen anyone drink like that before."

The man says, "Well, you'd drink like that if you had what I have."

With concern and empathy, the bartender replies, "Oh my. What do you have?"

"No money."

Cheers,
Dave.


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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2015 2:15 pm
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arth1 wrote:
A dyslexic walks into a bra...

Reminds me of a "dyslexic" joke I heard in church thirty years ago:

How do you describe a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He's a guy who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

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"If today was Christmas Eve, if today was Christmas Eve,
Tomorrow would be Christmas Day..."


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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 9:37 pm
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What did the pirate say when he walked into a bar on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey.....

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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 10:27 pm
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The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here"


Two tachyons walk into a bar

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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 11:59 pm
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A guitarist stumbles into a bar for a gig. The bartender takes notice with some disdain and shouts, “Nice case dude”.

Guitarist: “Thanks, it’s not really much though. Just your typical six pack.”

FSB

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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 2:07 pm
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Two guys walk into a bar. Third one ducks.


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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 6:50 pm
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The first half Italian half Polish mob boss walks into a bar and makes the bar owner an offer that he can't understand

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 8:27 pm
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Buddy why the long face?"

C/S,
Rev J


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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 7:51 pm
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russianracehorse wrote:
Two strings walk up to a bar.
The first string walks in and orders. The bartender tells him, "I don't serve strings in this bar. Get out!"
So the other string roughs himself up on the street and curls up. Then he goes in and orders.
The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"
The string says, "Yeah. So?"
The bartender says, "Well, aren't you a string too?"
The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

======

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how much he owes, and the bartender says, "For you, no charge."

8)


RR, brother where art thou?

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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 12:47 am
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The first and only time Ron Jeremy is in a movie with his clothes on ,So, this drunk walks into a bar and runs up a huge tab, starts a fight with the barman and ends up in the managers office and action

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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 4:27 am
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ripitup555 wrote:
The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs who are drinking in a bar. As he is finishing his speech on comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question.
"Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?".
"No Dopey," responds the Pontiff, "there are not".
"Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?", Dopey questions.
"No Dopey," chuckles the Pope, "there are no dwarf nuns in Italy."
"Mr. Pope," Dopey asks pleadingly, "are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
"No Dopey," the Pope says sadly, "there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
And softly in the background the six remaining dwarves start chanting,
"Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin."

VERY FUNNY! :lol:

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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2018 1:15 am
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01GT eibach wrote:
ripitup555 wrote:
The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs who are drinking in a bar. As he is finishing his speech on comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question.
"Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?".
"No Dopey," responds the Pontiff, "there are not".
"Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?", Dopey questions.
"No Dopey," chuckles the Pope, "there are no dwarf nuns in Italy."
"Mr. Pope," Dopey asks pleadingly, "are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
"No Dopey," the Pope says sadly, "there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
And softly in the background the six remaining dwarves start chanting,
"Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin."

VERY FUNNY! :lol:

+1 :lol:

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:07 pm
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Solid Body Love Songs wrote:
01GT eibach wrote:
ripitup555 wrote:
The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs who are drinking in a bar. As he is finishing his speech on comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question.
"Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?".
"No Dopey," responds the Pontiff, "there are not".
"Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?", Dopey questions.
"No Dopey," chuckles the Pope, "there are no dwarf nuns in Italy."
"Mr. Pope," Dopey asks pleadingly, "are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
"No Dopey," the Pope says sadly, "there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
And softly in the background the six remaining dwarves start chanting,
"Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin."

VERY FUNNY! :lol:

+1 :lol:
:lol: I’m in stitches. I’ll never be able to look at a nun or a penguin in the face again. Maybe, I’ve worn my last tuxedo. :P
FSB

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Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:20 pm
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Rodney Dangerfield walks into a bar after a very very hard day at work, I mean it was hard, let me tell ya one of the hardest days I've ever worked, boy I really needed some thing wet with alcohol in it, you know what I mean, well the bartender walked up to me and asked "what do you want" and I said "surprise me" so he shows me naked pictures of my wife,

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Last edited by Solid Body Love Songs on Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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