It is currently Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:07 pm

All times are UTC - 7 hours



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 100 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Author Message
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:18 pm
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:38 am
Posts: 11597
Location: Canada
Solid Body Love Songs wrote:
Rodney Dangerfield . . I said "surprise me" so he shows me naked pictures of my wife,
:lol: Sheesh! That guy never gets respect. :P
FSB

_________________
Hello, big guitar. Meet my little fingers.


Top
Profile
Fender Play April 2019
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 2:03 pm
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:13 pm
Posts: 18567
Location: Illinois, USA
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, gimme a beer and a mop.

(PlankSpanker already posted this on page 3, wonder where he's been? Good one PlankSpanker.)

_________________
you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


Last edited by Solid Body Love Songs on Thu May 02, 2019 1:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 4:57 pm
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:38 am
Posts: 11597
Location: Canada
Solid Body Love Songs wrote:
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, gimme a beer and a mop.
Rotfl. That one hit my funny bone. :lol:
________________________________________

A clown walks into a bar and is soon approached and whacked by two drunk cannibals. They both start to devour him when one looks to the other and says, “Hey, does this guy taste funny to you?”

FSB

_________________
Hello, big guitar. Meet my little fingers.


Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:45 am
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:13 pm
Posts: 18567
Location: Illinois, USA
A very large Indian walks into a bar with a huge black cat under one arm and a ten pound bag of horse manure under the other with a big hand-gun stuck in his belt. He puts the cat on the bar holding it down with his one hand because it is squirming and screeching and puts the bag of manure on the bar-stool next to him. The bartender walks over and asks "what'll you have chief?" The Indian says "gimme whiskey". So the bartender pours him a large glass of whiskey and steps back watching the Indian. He first takes a bite out of the black cats neck then washes it down with the glass of whiskey then pulls out his hand-gun and blows a hole in the bag of manure. The bartender shocked by what just happened asked "what the heck are you doing?" and the Indian replied, " I be like John Wayne, eat puccy drink whiskey and shoot the chit".

_________________
you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Thu May 02, 2019 1:38 pm
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:13 pm
Posts: 18567
Location: Illinois, USA
A Forum member wrote this a long time ago

"So. A talking dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender is most surprised; "Amazing! A talking dog! Who'd have thunk? Here's your drink." The dog drinks up and leaves. The next day around the same time the dog comes in and this time the bartender strikes up a conversation with the dog and learns that he's been looking for work in the neighborhood. When the dog leaves the bartender wishes him good luck with his job search.
Next day the bartender is at work and a guy comes in who from his attire is obviously the Ringmaster in a circus - he's wearing a top hat, tails, a spangly vest, etc. As the bartender is setting up the guy's drink he mentions; "You work in a circus? You should have been in here yesterday. I served a drink to someone I'm sure you'd like to meet, a talking dog!"
The Ringmaster says "Yeah, really? That's amazing! If that talking dog comes in again please ask him to come and see me. I believe I could offer him a job..."
Next day the bartender is working when in comes the talking dog again. As the bartender is pouring his drink he says; "Yesterday there was a guy in here who would very much like to meet you. He's the Ringmaster in a circus, and might be able to offer you a job."
The talking dog takes a pull on his drink and says; "Oh yeah? Why, does he need a trombone player?"


(had to have at least one trombone player joke lol.)

_________________
you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 7:34 pm
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:13 pm
Posts: 18567
Location: Illinois, USA
Image

_________________
you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:49 am
Offline
Hobbyist
Hobbyist

Joined: Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:45 am
Posts: 1
So The Edge and Bono walk into a bar .....
Bartender looks up and says "Not you two again....."


Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:37 pm
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:38 am
Posts: 11597
Location: Canada
Opening time. A fella staggers into an empty bar, sits down. orders a double, and notices the owner bartender isn’t his usual jovial self.

“Is there anything wrong, Sam?”, says the customer. “Yeah, says the bartender wiping a clean glass dry. “I had to fire the musical act for tonight”. “Why?” says the guy on the stool. Sam goes on to say, “They were terrible. Couldn’t sing and couldn’t play. The patrons hated ‘em, and I was losing customers. Now I’m in a pickle. I have a special crowd tonight.”

“I know a friend who can help you out. He can sing and play and he has perfect pitch”, says the drunk. “Really?”, the owner replies.

“Yeah. This guy rocks. He used to yodel in an oompa band until he tossed his guitar into the accordion.“

KaChing! :P

FSB

_________________
Hello, big guitar. Meet my little fingers.


Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 12:16 am
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:45 am
Posts: 17276
Location: On the loo, regretting that gas station burrito.
Did you hear that Lorena Bobbitt is getting back with John Bobbitt? It's because he's half the $@!&# he used to be. :P

_________________
Image


Top
Profile
Post subject: Re: Your Favorite "Walks Into A Bar" Joke
Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 5:30 pm
Offline
Rock Icon
Rock Icon
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:13 pm
Posts: 18567
Location: Illinois, USA
A young g8y man walks into a rough biker bar, you can tell that he is g8y because of his rainbow colored hair and he is wearing a t-shirt that says "kiss me I'm g8y". He is standing at the bar with his hands cupped like he is holding something in them. The big burly bartender walks over and without saying a word points to a rather large sign behind the bar that says "we don't serve gays here". The young man undaunted doesn't order a drink but says "guess what I have in my hands and I'll give you a kiss". The bartender says a few choice words to the young man and tells him to leave. So, he leaves and turns up a half hour later standing at another part of the bar again with his hands cupped. The bartender see's him and walks over then says " I told you to leave, now I'm telling you to leave and don't ever come back". The young man leaves again but comes back in a half hour and stands at another part of the bar with his hands still cupped. The bartender see's him and now visibly upset walks over and before he can say anything the young man says "please sir if you will just guess I promise that I'll leave and not come back". The bartender compose's himself and asks "ok what is it you want" and the young man again says "guess what I have in my hands and I'll give you a big kiss". The bartender with a sly smile on his face says "a Hippopotamus" and then the young g8y man peeks into his cupped hands and says loudly "I think we have a winner here!"

_________________
you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


Top
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 100 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

All times are UTC - 7 hours

Fender Play April 2019

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to: