I have no idea what the guitar would say,but my ex used to say,"I wish you held me like you hold that guitar."
I would tell her the guitar treated me better than she did.
Women are fickle creatures...they see musicians playing guitars and it thrills them that we have that talent,and they want us to play for them,...then after awhile the new wears off and they get jealous of the guitar.....self centered drama queens,most of them are.

probably what my wife says. "is that all you got?" or.............
"the pick is in your pocket dumbarse"
"you know i sound alot better when i'm in tune"
"i think the bass player likes you"
"your wifes boyfriend plays so much better than you"
"just once i'd like to ride in the front seat"
"the dog is very smart. he stared at me for 20 minutes and then pissed on the floor instead"
this is fun

Doing some work on other's guitars got me thinking about this. Why would
someone who's been playin' for years bring me a guitar for a 'clean up' and
string change?

I've worked on guitars with parts so rusty that bridge parts were nearly
impossible to get off, along with green frets, etc (you get the picture!).

Anyway, I think mine would say "let go of my neck".