Just on the lighter side- having played for so long in bands I've seen alot of weird and crazy stuff while on the road, or in my home town clubs etc. I know you guys probubly have too. This topic may not go far but we may get a good laugh or some "wows" or whatever. Here's one to get started with------

We're playing at a club at a large lake. The stage is on the water floating on pontoons that are anchored to the bottom. I could really feel my bass vibrating the boards in the stage where I was standing... It's way hot and the sun is setting and there are hundreds of gnats and mosquitos swarming around the lights and our faces. The gnats like to try and fly in your nose and mouth. The place is set up as a marina/boat dock but the stage is about 25 feet from the boats and walkways.

Needless to say there are lots of people partying and getting their buzz on and we are playing away. All of a sudden here comes a guy running towards the stage- straight at it, full speed. He gets to the edge of the dock and just jumps way up and performs a big swan dive straight down into the water and disappears ...... He's not surfacing and we're playing and looking at each other.
So first off, the water in this lake is not of the cleanest variety, 2nd the water where he performed his arching swan dive is only a little over four feet deep!!!!!
He's still not coming up! Then with a "woosh" he comes up like he propelled himself off the bottom. He is covered with slimey dark mud from the top of his head to his chest and is standing there facing us like the creature of the black lagoon. Mixed in with the mud is the reddish stuff known as blood running down over his face. The guy had gone straight down head first into about 3 feet of muck and scrunge on the bottom of the lake. For his troubles he recieved a nasty gash on the forehead. I bet he felt a bit stupid. I bet he went to the hospital after they helped him back on to the dock. It's a bit funnier now than it was then. He must have been stuck head first down in 3 feet of ooze.

Back in like 1985 or so I took my wife to see Foghat and Pat Travers.We pretty much had front row seats and were just enjoying ourselves watching the gig.All the sudden we see this totally drunk guy just trying to weasel his way up in front of us.I instantly get bent out of shape and at the same time get this this wiff of $@!&, I look over and the dude had totally crapped and pissed all over himself and it was running down his leg and out of his pants at his shoes.Next thing I know, he almost knocked my wife over and thats when he fell flat on his face ,out cold laying in his own puddle of diarreah.We had to get security to get his $@! out out of there quick like.That pretty much ruined our evening at that point.I think Pat Travers had to stop playing till they removed this guy cause the stench was so foul,but he said hi to us sorry for the interuption and gave me his guitar pick and said enjoy the rest of the evening.They rocked that night.Crazy $@! night I tell ya

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1986 Fender Sidekick Reverb 35
1990 Fender Red Knob - "The Twin"
1992 Fender Newporter - Acoustic
2000 Fender American Series Strat - Natural ash
2010 Fender Mustang 1
2011 Fender Blacktop Jazzmaster -Sunburst
2012 Fender Champion

Old school Screen Saver.

At a recent gig our x- soundman did not have his cabinets strapped down. We were playing on the second level of a club next to the stairwell. The cabinets were right next to the railing.- One bass bin "18" and two "2- 12" cabs stacked on top of each other. The whole thing was easily 10 feet tall or more.

You guessed it. Some drunk bumped/fell into the stack and the top 2 cabinets fell about 20 feet down onto the floor right next to the bar on the first level. We were so lucky noone was hit by them. The fall broke both the cabinets.

Some scuffles broke out that night also. One involved the owner and someone we knew. The Police showed up for that one.At the end of the night when we were done a bartender told us we did a great job but unfortunately we will never play there again.

I could write a book about this stuff.

Many years ago after finishing a gig, our bass player who was using one of those
flip top Ampeg B-15 Bass amps, filled the inside of his amp with beer from the backroom
and it was quite heavy...the kicker is he had one of the bouncers prove how strong he was and had it carried out to the bus!

Another time, we were in Atlanta doing a Holiday Inn Lounge and Leslie West was gigging nearby (West, Bruce & Laing), but had accomadations at the hotel and after talking with him at the bar, he came up and did a tune with us...not many even know who he was and one guy came up and said he sounded just like the original singer on 'Mississippi Queen'.

One more...we used to do a regular 5-nighter at a place in Virginia Beach and one Friday night, the club owner who was pretty drunk, told us to take our gear out as he had a special event going on that Saturday. He paid me and we later found out he also paid the drummer. The next day we found out that the club burned to the ground that
night in the wee hours of the morning. We think he probably set it for the insurance money?

Others included (but not limited to) a few fights, throat slashes with knives, females that felt the need to remove some of their clothes while dancing, rowdy roadhouse bikers going crazy, pyrotechnics that were unplanned, having to perform whiile actually standing on a bar with bird cages hanging between us, trying to spot the 'Lolas' and
sharing dressing rooms with strippers...lots of wild stuff out on the road..fo sure!!!

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Being able to play and enjoy music is a gift that's often taken for granted.

Don't leave home without it!

For a while I was playing harmonica with a great slide guitarist named Rollo Smith. We often played a dive on Jacksboro Highway in Fort Worth, Texas. Actually, this place was so low, you had to look up to see a dive. They sold BBQ and beer, the restrooms were only accessible from the outside of the building and it was next door to an old motel that was now being used as a halfway house for drug addicts. It held--at most--60 people...and they had to like one another, because they were going to be close to each other!

In other words, it was the perfect blues bar.

The ceiling was less than 7 feet high (I could palm the ceiling while standing flat-footed and I'm only 5'11'') and the "stage" was an unelevated corner that looked much larger than it was, because the owner put mirrors on the walls behind us. The drummer had to partially disassemble his set to get behind the drums (if there was a fire, he would have died). The owner put in a strip of track lights with colored bulbs (not stage lights, just regular track lighting) right above the stage, which dang near burned my forehead when I stood directly below them. The bassist (who was about three inches taller than me) complained about the "Sunburn" he got while playing under them.

There was a group of people who came in every week to hear us play. Judging from their clothes and cars, they were obviously wealthy and were "slumming" by coming down to this joint. They blew through a huge bar tab each time they were there. All of them were nice-looking folks, but there was a particular woman who turned the head of everybody (even Rollo, who was legally blind, jokingly said she "sounded hot!" ). She was a very fit and buxom (she was in no danger of drowning, if you know what I mean. ), cougar-ish blonde woman in her late 30s/early 40s. We nicknamed her Mercury, because she was a Cougar. (Yes, it’s a stupid joke but we laughed anyway). She was very flirty with everyone, so much so to the point that it made some of us a bit uncomfortable. I'm not a prude and she made me blush with a comment about what harp players can do with their tongues.

She danced with all the guys in her group (and anyone else who would ask her). She would also dance with other chicks and by herself, if need be. One night she threw her hands in the air (“like you don’t care”) and busted out two of the light bulbs on the “stage lights”, but just kept on dancing, crushing the colored glass under her feet, laughing the whole time.

There was one particular young dude in her party that seemed to strike her fancy. They dirty danced and bumped one another all over the “dance floor” (in actuality, a 4’x9’ area right in front of the “stage”). We figured he was her boy-toy or something.

One night he brought a pretty young brunette (closer to his age) with him; they were obviously “together”, holding hands, etc. She was much more demure than Mercury, and didn’t dirty dance or act as rowdy as the rest of the group. The young brunette seemed a bit confused when she saw him dirty dancing with the older woman (as were we).

The weirdness of the situation came to a head between two of the sets, when the young guy was trying to get the attention of Mercury, and said, “Hey, Mom, listen to this---Mom! Mom! Listen to this joke.” The dude had been dirty dancing with his mother all these weeks. I turned to the drummer to confirm what I just heard, and we said in unison, “Did he just call her MOM?” Later, we confirmed that they were indeed flesh and blood mother and son from the bartender/owner of the joint who had known her for years.

The place was fun to play and everything, though. Buddy Whittington was playing around the corner at the premier blues bar in Fort Worth (the late, lamented J&J’s Blues Bar) and came in and jammed with us between his own sets. That’s where I got to play harp with him (a thrilling experience). I also got to jam with several of Fort Worth’s blues royalty who would stop by and hang out.

I still get a little nauseated thinking about Mercury and Junior on the dance floor, though.

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Good Vibes To Y'all!



Screamin' Armadillos
Texas Roadhouse Music
Guitar/Slide Guitar/Harp/Vocals

We had a gig playing on the beach, right next to the Huntington Beach pier. The party was thrown by Ocean Pacific for May Company employees. OP had their own skydiving team at the time and they did a jump...here they come down in tight circles streaming colored flares behind them. Needless to say we were totally upstaged...for a minute. I look up coast highway and see the police cars coming in force! It is (very) illeagal to skydive or parachute onto a city beach. The ploice start gatering on the sand and we start playing (what else?)

"I Fought the Law and the Law Won"

Everybody that didn't get arrested thought it was very funny.

Was watching an AD~DC tribute band a lot of years ago, maybe 15 or more. The Angus wannabe let go of the neck to put both hands on the mic and with the oddball balance of the SG the neck crashed to the floor and the headstock snapped clean off. Pity too. They were pretty good and the show had just started.

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Just think of how awesome a guitar player you could have been by now if you had only spent the last 10 years practicing instead of obsessing over pickups and roasted maple necks.

These stories are great guys!
I'm gonna have a think, I have far too many to choose from!

CC

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Fender Stratocaster (parts build)
Fender Telecaster 72 Custom RI
Fender Telecoustic Deluxe
Gretsch Electromatic Pro-Jet
Gibson Les Paul Standard Plus
Gibson ES-135
Zenith Type-17
Marshall 70's JMP Superbass 100w
Blackstar HT-5

The worst band I was ever in was also the most fun to be in. It was the first bar band I was in. We sucked.... We had satin shirts and black vests and black pants. We had an average girl singer who had a satin dress. We just didn't have it quite together. Our songlist contained pop tunes of the times. Songs like "Magnet and Steel", "Boogie Oogie Oogie", "Fire" , etc. We played every single weekend all year!

We were playing some little bar and we set up on the stage and there was a door right in the middle directly behind our drummer (who played everything too slow- he dragged every song). Our drummer got to do a solo every night.
So we're playing and we get to the spot where he takes his solo. He starts in with eyes closed (he wore glasses) and head down and he's just jamming away doing his "slow- low". He's in that place where drummers go. Well, I look back and I notice smoke billowing out around the frame of the door behind him. He's doing his solo and the smoke is coming out pretty fast and thick. He's playing right along, head down and eyes closed, and people are noticing this smoke and they are moving towards the door. I yell at him and he doesn't look up. I yell his name again and again. Everyone is wide- eyed. He just goes on playing !!! Finally I just hauled off and slapped him right up side the head and his glasses go flying! He looks up with the wierdest look on his face like " Oh gawd why did you do that?" The guys thought that was so funny and they were just losing it! I had to tell him the place was on fire! HA!

I don't know why I whacked him so hard. I just reacted because I wanted to get out of there. By now there was about a foot of smoke up at the ceiling( which was just above my head) and more coming out around the door. It was thick toxic smelling smoke. I think maybe at first he thought I slapped him because he sucked. It would have been well diserved had that been the case. I don't know how he didn't notice what was going on.

Anyway we made it outside. The hot water heater was in the closet behind the stage. They had just installed it that day.The wires had shorted out and started melting and smoking like crazy. We were outside for about a half an hour and then we went back in and finished the gig. That smell was the worst.

That's just one story from the Worlds Worst Pop Band. It was lot's of fun playing in that group-- untill they kicked me out!!! HA! You know it has to be a real "hoot" when you get kicked out of the Worlds Worst bar band!!!! ................. Something's just not right about that.

Hey stroker v. I am really glad you are here. You tell good stories.

I sat in with a lounge singer who played a big-box Gibson Jazz guitar. He sang and played real well, but he had the smaltziest material on the planet. If you tried to imagine a song that was too lame to play; we played it.

Anyway, he started paying me to back him up. I would stand toward the back of the stage and he would start playing. He wouldn't tell me the name of the song or the key. I learned to play fills and get in and out of a solo without botching it up. It really helped me when I got in a better band.

Hey thanks Bobster! I think the Fender forums are really good. Lot's of cool people here. I can tell.

That is some funny s@#t. lol

I can recall one gig that I'll never forget. We were hired by a
pro athlete to perform at his daughter's wedding for the main dancing
part of the reception. He also had hired a string quartet to play for a
cocktail hour while the bride, groom and wedding party were having their
pictures taken.

While setting up in the main ballroom of this country club most of the
guests were out on the deck for the cocktail hour. Along comes a well
dressed elderly couple and asks me where the restrooms were. They went
on their way but were soon back and sitting in chairs about 30 feet away
from us while we were setting up.

The lady and gentleman had this strange look and then suddenly the old guy
starts to turn gray. As he sat there dying from what turned out to be a heart
attack, I could almost see the life draining out of his eyes. We pulled a blanket
from the kick drum and put it over him and called an ambulance. The paramedics
arrived quickly but he was already gone. No one at the party knew about this yet
because they were still all outside.

After escorting the guy's wife to the ambulance I found the host, who was
also outside with all of the guests and she took care of notifying the rest of
those about the situation that had just happened.

Still stunned from having a person die (and we hadn't even played yet!) at the
gig, I remember walking over to the bar and downing a 3/4 glass of Crown Royal
in one shot. The gig still went off well, but to this day, I can still see him struggling
and the look in their faces and it's something that I'll never forget!

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Being able to play and enjoy music is a gift that's often taken for granted.

Don't leave home without it!

I won't go into detail but let you paint your own mental picture of this scenario::Seedy waterfront club,very drunk hooker,an even more drunk patron,urine soaked bathroom floor. It doesn't get much funnier/disgusting than that.

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'65 Strat,65 Mustang,65 Jaguar,4 more Strats,3 vintage Vox guitars,5 Vox amps,'69 Bassman with a '68 2-15 Bassman cab,36 guitars total-15asst'd amps total,2 vintage '60s Hammond organs & a myriad of effects-with a few rare vintage ones.