There is a dead man in the middle of a field nothing is around him and there are no footprints of any sort. There is an unopened package next to him. How did he die?
Hint; while entering the field he knew he was going to die!

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The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

Thomas Jefferson

His parachute failed to open?

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Marriage is like playing cards...

At first all you want are Hearts and Diamonds.

But in the end, all you really want is a Club and a Spade.

The package is his parachute.
Claude.

Whats weightless visible to the naked eye and when you put it in a barrel of water it will make the barrel lighter in weight.?

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The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

Thomas Jefferson

double win

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Favorite bands:

Melvins
The Jesus Lizard
Cows
Big Business
R***man
Minutemen
Flight
Minor Threat
Big Black
Shellac
Karp
Scratch Acid
Wipers
Pixies

5 men are going to dig a hole in 4 days.

How long does it take them to dig half a hole?
















































You can't dig half a hole.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTrs6xsdG6c

A guy walks ten miles south, then ten miles east, and ten miles north and he finishes his journey on the exact same spot where he started it. Where is he?
Claude.

The North pole there Santa.

_________________
Marriage is like playing cards...

At first all you want are Hearts and Diamonds.

But in the end, all you really want is a Club and a Spade.

Since we seem a bit board tonight I will throw out the next one for you'all....

A airliner, a 747 has crashed on the US/Canadian boarded. Both country's send in rescue teams and equipment and both country's launch there own investigation.
The media show is in full swing and everyone is asking who is charge who will take the lead, who will bare the cost of the clean up.

But the most delicate question to answer is, in which country should they bury the survivors in?

_________________
Marriage is like playing cards...

At first all you want are Hearts and Diamonds.

But in the end, all you really want is a Club and a Spade.

Why bury survivors?

Here's one from Mensa UK

Your stood atop the Eiffel Tower, facing south, on a clear sunny day.

What is the furthest object you can see?

There is no roof on the eiffel tower.
Claude.

The horizon??

edit - Nothing I can't open my eyes, and screaming, yep screaming like a screaming thing

The Sun!

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I don't like to look at that. It hurts my neck.

The back of my head.
Claude.