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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:17 pm
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Location: Illinois, USA
I think my squad leader was his Brother, righteous badness must run in that family.

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:13 am
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Posts: 4017
Location: Australia, VIC
heres one i wrote on my english book cover (i got bored, the teacher started comparing cyclone yasi with grammar :? :?: ) nature is trying to tell us that we're treating it like crap (all the very strange weather stuff thats happened in the last year all around the world) and that is what this is about

link's are not made
to slice through water
victim's horribly saw
the magnetic field
slowly race towards them
day goes by, vacancies are not left
through the self disease,
bi polar mother is deaceasing
as are its companions

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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:41 pm
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Location: Illinois, USA
waited for a telephone call
on this past special day
a special call especially from
some one I was thinking about
since the last special call
on a long ago day
that call though unexpected
in an unexpected way brought
a smile and some feelings
for the caller in a good way
this past special day was one
we celebrated on every day
until we stopped
there wasn't a call
I expected that

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 12:12 am
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Location: Illinois, USA
from another thread, thanks for the talk DD.

the fine young man was playing a song - about another ladies days long gone - similar to the one this old lady wanted the angels to hear - but in different time and more urgent for the boy so dear - the tempo all rock and roll sure made that clear - though a sweeter happier song this time - a song a little slower is the thought in mind - to go back in time for a memory the waltz - so then this old lady can feel the young boy of her girlhood now lost - with a little added one might describe as Viennese schmaltz - play the song the young man did - as if from a distance somewhere far - listening for the ring of pennies dropped into his jar - the old lady watched him play her face so bright - as if she was looking at an extraordinary light - or might have been the memory she longed for - is now within her mind - her request granted she must leave the scene - listening to that beautiful music was for her like a dream - now dropping pennies into the jar and onto the steps falling they are - making that wonderful ringing noise for that boy playing his guitar.

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 6:56 pm
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Location: Illinois, USA
Fenderseeker09 wrote:
The day was crisp and cold
The man was brittle and old
He took his ol' cane
Trodding through the rain
To retrieve his dropped billfold.
-----
Looking westwardly
The sun setting in the sea
Beautiful canvas.


on the trod he spied a pup
shivering under a truck
wet and cold she gave out a yelp
put her in his pocket just to help
and kept looking for the drop
then saw the billfold and picked it up

a far away look in her eyes
facing the setting sun
red and orange glow reflects from them to mine

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:22 pm
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Posts: 4017
Location: Australia, VIC
tumbleweed gets blown away
the other side is a soul
greatly as the wolves howl at the moon
see the crest, filled with glass
as sand stabs you and shivering takes over

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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:37 pm
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Solid :!:


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:32 pm
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:33 pm
Posts: 891
Location: Vermont
Solid Body Love Songs wrote:
Fenderseeker09 wrote:
The day was crisp and cold
The man was brittle and old
He took his ol' cane
Trodding through the rain
To retrieve his dropped billfold.
-----
Looking westwardly
The sun setting in the sea
Beautiful canvas.


on the trod he spied a pup
shivering under a truck
wet and cold she gave out a yelp
put her in his pocket just to help
and kept looking for the drop
then saw the billfold and picked it up

a far away look in her eyes
facing the setting sun
red and orange glow reflects from them to mine


Nice SBLS! It is 1:30 AM but here goes some poetry...

The old man hear a ripping sound
It was this that made him turn around
Seeing there was no one there
For the walk homeward he and the pup prepare
A local stops and says to the man "You tore your pants pretty fair"
To which the old man replied "Guess I need a new pair"
So he walked home his coat pulled low
Walking nice and slow
A man with ripped pants, an orphaned dog, a retrieved billfold
Alone together to face the cold.

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"There is more to life than increasing its speed." Mahatma Gandhi

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-2008 American Standard Strat in Candy Cola Red
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Post subject: Re:
Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 3:13 am
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martynrss2 wrote:
When the line continues on the next line, its called enjambment :D (that's my A in English coming in there)

How about this,

Fatty and skinny went to bed,
Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead :-b


I'm not quite sure if that's what enjambment actually is. As far as I can remember from my literary studies, enjambment is about run-on ideas. If you've seen the movie Inception, enjambment is similar. A thought or idea within a thought or idea, oftentimes providing a break or distraction from the main thought.

Here's an example from the Wikipedia page on "enjambment." The specimen text is from Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale.

Quote:
I am not prone to weeping, as our sex
Commonly are; the want of which vain dew
Perchance shall dry your pities; but I have
That honourable grief lodged here which burns
Worse than tears drown.


The stanza's main thought goes like this: I am not prone to weeping, but I have that honourable grief lodged here which burns worse than tears down. The other ideas are "enjambed" within that main thought.

Sometimes it makes me wonder whether "enjambed" and "jammed" rhyme out of pure coincidence. :D

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Whether you create it or consume it, music is food for your soul. So is writing. So is poetry. Eat some of my soul food at the Cebuano Website | Saksaksinagol.com


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:24 am
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Posts: 19025
Location: Illinois, USA
Fenderseeker09 wrote:
Solid Body Love Songs wrote:
Fenderseeker09 wrote:
The day was crisp and cold
The man was brittle and old
He took his ol' cane
Trodding through the rain
To retrieve his dropped billfold.
-----
Looking westwardly
The sun setting in the sea
Beautiful canvas.


on the trod he spied a pup
shivering under a truck
wet and cold she gave out a yelp
put her in his pocket just to help
and kept looking for the drop
then saw the billfold and picked it up

a far away look in her eyes
facing the setting sun
red and orange glow reflects from them to mine


Nice SBLS! It is 1:30 AM but here goes some poetry...

The old man hear a ripping sound
It was this that made him turn around
Seeing there was no one there
For the walk homeward he and the pup prepare
A local stops and says to the man "You tore your pants pretty fair"
To which the old man replied "Guess I need a new pair"
So he walked home his coat pulled low
Walking nice and slow
A man with ripped pants, an orphaned dog, a retrieved billfold
Alone together to face the cold.

up maxwell they walked and saw gino's caddy
boot open trunk full of booty
gino called "oh gramps you need some pants"
puppy barked and licked the old mans hand
"deuce and a quarter for the pair" said gino
"change them over here no one will see you"
the old man paid gino and changed there
old man and the pup face the cold
with new pants and a retrieved billfold

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:58 pm
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Posts: 891
Location: Vermont
The windy city Chicago lived up to her name
Wallet and pants...problems solved
Now the old man's hat took off in the breezes so famed
Up, up in the air it revolved.

He noted the hat was on its way towards Lake Michigan without yield
The wee pup and old man moved faster
The hat meanwhile was headed for Grant Park...now Soldier Field
What a disaster!

Gino's chinos were getting a workout
On this mad dash across the city
From the home of Chicago Blues to the blues of the lake, no doubt
One hot dog vendor found this all to be witty.

"Look at that geezer and that dog there that barks
Why between them there must be two hundred years"
Just as the vendor finished his remark
The dog tore at the sausages, knocking over the cart...leaving the vendor in tears.

Wallet, dog, and old man together chasing a lost hat
That now wound its way back towards the University of Illinois
The old man said to the dog: "I could be at a Cubs game, hearing the swing of a bat
but let's get that hat boy."

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"There is more to life than increasing its speed." Mahatma Gandhi

Owner of:
-2008 American Standard Strat in Candy Cola Red
-Vibro-Champ XD
-Fender CD-60 Acoustic (Sunburst)


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:04 pm
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Location: My Piece Of Red Dirt
There once was a man from Nantucket.................

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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:41 am
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hmm, a flurry of activity
a flourish about natures tumbleweed
an old man a pup a stroll through the city
Nantucket's introduction and enjambments repeat
synapses firing music's meter electrical symphony

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:16 pm
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Posts: 891
Location: Vermont
A moment later a window-washer suddenly caught the hat
In his trusty bucket
The wheezing old man said: "Where'd ya learn to do that?"
The man replied: "I'm no hero-just a man from Nantucket."

"Well thank you for that." He said fixing his cap
He shook the man's hand and took up his dog
Let's head home for a nap
Man and dog wandered away in the fog.

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"There is more to life than increasing its speed." Mahatma Gandhi

Owner of:
-2008 American Standard Strat in Candy Cola Red
-Vibro-Champ XD
-Fender CD-60 Acoustic (Sunburst)


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Post subject: Re: YOUR POETRY
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:44 am
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Rock Star
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Posts: 4017
Location: Australia, VIC
the tubs breathing sparks
warm in the sea
be the disciplined
bone in the dark moon
freedom grabs some bleach
high up on the shore
eagles swim belown
cool in the sun, as deafening noise

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