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Post subject: Band Problems
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:59 am
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Hey everyone,

I'm having a band issue right now that I would like some opinions on. We have currently been a band for about 8 months. Since the beginning I (aswell as the rest of the band) have had a problem with the drummer bring a negetive engery to practices. We have had serveral arguments and he's the type of guy that you have to walk on egg shells to get along with. He's also my cuz.. well we played a house party on new years and got threw our first set great. Just before the beginning of the second set we could'nt find our drummer... and it turns out that he had walked outside and was very upset because he broke our freinds toliet by pushing his girlfreind into the tank and crack the whole thing off.. long story short it causes allot of drama at the party between him and the owner.. we ended up not playing the rest of the night because of this...this was the straw that broke the camels back for me and rest of the band..among other things.. weve decided to move forward with another drummer the is 10 times better skill wise attitude wise and everything... I just hav'nt told my cuzion yet..

Has anyone dealt with this? How did you approach it or how would you suggest.. sorry so long but I need some feed back


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Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:39 am
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Be honest with him. And do it in person. Tell him you think he's not right for the band and that his attitude is really a detriment to the rest of the group.

If he flies off the handle then so be it but that will just vindicate your decision.


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Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:47 am
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Never been in a band before but I have been in this position at work and I would advise...honesty!!

Peolpe don't like hearing the truth but it is really the only way for them to understand and for you to be able to live with yourself. The right wording is important as to not come accross as being spiteful or whatever. Chose your words carefully and be up front. Probably best to do it as a group so it doesn't come accross as just you having the problem. Especially being family.

good luck


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Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:39 am
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Thanks guys!!! I was really wanting to shy away from doing it in person cause I know its gonna be so aqward afterward.. but I would like the rest of the band to do it with me


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Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:32 pm
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Not being in a band for almost 50
years,,, I would say whoevers band
it is should be the one to tell the
drummer...

=============================

Rasputan


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Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:45 pm
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I'll tell him.


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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:47 pm
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I fired my best friend as a drummer some time back. We talked honestly, and came to the conclusion.

We hired him back a couple of weeks later. :)

Bands always have drama. It's impossible to kep that many egos contained in a room without it.

If he's costing you jobs, then you need to be honest with him, and move on.


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Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:52 pm
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Yeah you gotta just do it. Just be like, "dude this ain't workin out because this, this, and this" and just let em know.


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Post subject:
Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:54 pm
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---


Last edited by tinker tech on Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:50 am
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evh1978 wrote:
I'll tell him.


lol that's funny.. I appreciate all the feedback.. I will just have to be honest with him choose my words wisely...


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:46 am
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You pretty much just have to sit him down and tell him he is out and why. Explain the situation to him and let him know that it was his own actions that caused it and "hope" he learns from it.


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 12:52 pm
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The best way to handle a delicate situation like this is to address the whole band by saying:

"All members of this band please take one step forward. Uh, not so fast Cuz...."

He'll probably want to break another toilet with your head, but at least you'll be rid of a whack-job.


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:22 pm
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U2Scott wrote:
The best way to handle a delicate situation like this is to address the whole band by saying:

"All members of this band please take one step forward. Uh, not so fast Cuz...."

He'll probably want to break another toilet with your head, but at least you'll be rid of a whack-job.


LOL I luv it!!!! Dude he is a whack job... he does'nt have a radio in his car or does he ever practice because his one pair of crapy drums sits at our practice space..and after playing like 4 songs he complains about his arms being tired.. he went to prison for 5 years armed robbery..ummm yeah he might break a toliet over my head while he smokes a ciggerette in his wife beater....lol


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:01 pm
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nkb2575 wrote:
U2Scott wrote:
The best way to handle a delicate situation like this is to address the whole band by saying:

"All members of this band please take one step forward. Uh, not so fast Cuz...."

He'll probably want to break another toilet with your head, but at least you'll be rid of a whack-job.


LOL I luv it!!!! Dude he is a whack job... he does'nt have a radio in his car or does he ever practice because his one pair of crapy drums sits at our practice space..and after playing like 4 songs he complains about his arms being tired.. he went to prison for 5 years armed robbery..ummm yeah he might break a toliet over my head while he smokes a ciggerette in his wife beater....lol


You know what, maybe you should give him a call.

From a safe house. :P


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:18 pm
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Dude just get a new drummer already.


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