I've been developing myself as a guitar player and recently was asked at last minute to practice with an established band. The bad part was the song list the manager/drummer sent wasn't the same songs the lead guitarist/band leader played. It was mostly I, IV, V, but with several variances. But back to the point, at first I struggled to hear the changes but ended up finding the groove after a few songs. After I went home, I was sent a message asking me to join the band for their upcoming gig by the manager, but an hour later, I was notified the lead guitarist would rather have a keyboard player. So now that I've filled you in with the background, here's my request for some wisdom from the Fender Forum folks. Have you dealt with rejection as a guitarist/musician and how have you learned from it or gained from it? Having a dream almost coming true just to have it crushed is hard to stop thinking about. Do any of you have advice?

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"Epitaph on a blues musician’s tombstone: “I didn’t wake up this morning”" Davy Knowles


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This is an all-too-common phenomena in this business. If you lost out due to musical deficiency(s), then try to overcome them by refining your chops. If you were declined due to gear issues, buy new and/or better stuff. Personal issues are the most difficult types to resolve -- often they're irresolveable in fact. So you move on.

And yes, I've been told to pack it in. And I've also declined offers due to unforeseen baggage with other members that I discovered after some research, such as female lead singers who can't sing but are one member's main squeeze, a drug/booze monkey on somebody's back, family commitments that limit proper rehearsal time, etc etc etc.

It all comes with the territory.

HTH

Arjay

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"Here's why reliability is job one: A great sounding amp that breaks down goes from being a favorite piece of gear to a useless piece of crap in less time than it takes to read this sentence." -- BRUCE ZINKY

When you compose music and send it to publishers, you get rejection slips all the time. I used to say " Send as many No's as you like, I need just one Yes "
Wait long enough, it happens. Don't bother man, keep going.

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Rhumba,
Have you got a yes, yet?

Oh yeah! I worked for Panama Music Publishers, I was in the Library department and it was Virgin Music who suggested my music was suited to Library.
One thing I learned early, was to target your music to the right source.
Same with a band, find one that does your thing.

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I was turned down once for not being able to read music. I'm self taught. The band sensed that there would be a major problem in communication since they were very much into music theory.

It turned out to be a blessing. While they struggle to play 1 or 2 shows a month, I'm playing 10-15 a month with the current band I'm in. For the record, I never blamed them for turning me down. But it's what drove me to switch gears and try a different genre. Things couldn't have turned out better in my case.

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HaleAmano- House Of Sharks (Now On iTunes)
http://www.reverbnation.com/haleamano
http://www.haleamano.com

Don't let it get you down. This just wasn't your time. You could always quit relying on joining an established band and form your own. I've always preferred starting fresh rather than joining someone elses group.

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"Life is like eating jalapenos. What you do today may burn your arse tomorrow"

I had a VERY similar situation about 4 years ago. I had just moved back full time from The States and needed a new band so I started auditioning for various rock bands in the Belfast area.

There was one band I wanted to join more than the rest and I put in a lot of effort into learning their EP and about 7 demos they had given me. I also had to learn to harmonise with their singer for back-up and it was a lot of work in a short space of time. I rehearsed with them four or five times only to be told that they would prefer a keyboardist to rhythm guitar. I was gutted after me busting a gut.

Anyway, as hard and annoying as it was I didn't let it get me down. 2 months later, after even more failures, I auditioned for another band, again as rhythm guitarist and backing singer. This time it was a band I was a HUGE fan of and after even more effort I got the gig and ended up playing/touring with and meeting a few of my heroes thanks to this band. Sadly we went our seperate ways but the drummer and I to this day play in the same band and he is one of the best friends I have ever had.

The point is every cloud has a silver lining. DO NOT let it get you down as something even better could come your way very soon. Sadly in this business there is MORE rejection than not. You just have to get used to it, take it on the chin and don't give up. You will find your band if you don't stop looking.

Best of luck!

CC

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Fender Stratocaster (parts build)
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Gibson ES-135
Zenith Type-17
Marshall 70's JMP Superbass 100w
Blackstar HT-5

Ten years ago, I fired myself from a band...the other guitarist and I were not getting along: he refused to let anyone have any say about anything (from the name of the group to the songs we played to where we gigged to how often we practiced to...). He increasingly picked material that was not well-suited to two guitars or a guitar and a harp (I play harmonica as well), so I was left trying to find someplace to fit in on the songs. We also both sang, but he didn't want me to sing but maybe three songs a night, because of his incredible awesomeness. I fought to sing about a quarter on the forty songs we rehearsed. He also didn't want to play any original songs, just covers, so that precluded 70% of my repetoire. We rehearsed almost every weekend for eleven months before we played a gig--and that gig payed us less than $40 per guy.

The only reason I stayed as long as I did was because while we weren't (personally) good together, we were (musically) great together. We played off of each other very well; I (stylistically) was a good musical counterpoint to his style. I kept trying to make it work, but I finally had to quit; with his constant passive-agressive putdowns he had destroyed all my confidence as a musician.

We had a chance to record in a real studio (a killer palace in Dallas, Luminous Studios), so I waited until I got copies of the songs I was allowed to play on (a total of four out of six songs recorded; he had removed my guitar parts on one of those four after the fact, so there were only three that my presence was heard)...then I quit.

By that time, I was so fritzed and angry about how things went down, I very nearly quit playing entirely. Then, a few weeks later a spectacular guitarist called me and said, "Next Friday, we (his band) have a rehearsal. Bring your guitar, your harps and at least ten songs you want to sing...we also have a few we are going to request you sing. We have a gig Saturday and you're the frontman."

I was a bit flabbergasted...I asked why he needed me (he could play circles around me and they already had a good singer). He said, "This gig needs for us to break out of our honky-tonk/country mold; we need a guy who can sing & play blues and rock. It pays $100 a guy--are you in or not?"

The rehearsal was great--no egos, just friendly ribbing and jousting. I ended up singing over half the set list (twenty songs I sang, fifteen their other singer sang and we all joined in on a few others). They picked up on five of my originals (none of which they had ever heard), and thought that my songs were some old obscure blues songs. They let me play lead on several songs (even though the lead guitarist could kill me with three notes) and encouraged me to keep playing guitar and harp all night long, even on the songs I was diverting from their original course (stylistically).

The next day I called the drummer of the group I had quit (I was the one that brought him to the band) and told him to get ready to be in two bands...we rehearsed twice and played several gigs within weeks of forming the band. After two months, he quit band #1 and told me, "When you left, it fell apart; there wasn't any starting point; the set list had to be cut in half, because we couldn't play most of the songs with only one guitar. The songs that formerly had harp in them sounded empty and stale without it. He can't sing all night, because his voice gives out."

They replaced him and kept going, but from the home videos and recordings (both studio and live) I heard, it just didn't work musically. Their new drummer was mechanical and boring as well (he was hired because he looked cool and had a PA system--something else I brought to the group). They broke up pretty quickly.

My band is still together. Hmm...

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Good Vibes To Y'all!



Screamin' Armadillos
Texas Roadhouse Music
Guitar/Slide Guitar/Harp/Vocals

I have never been turned down by a band.Once I auditioned for one of the more popular MOR wedding/service club dance bands around and was hired on the spot.After playing just 2 gigs with them I dropped them as they only played the standard MOR and 50's and 60's blase(sorry no provision for the accent on Blase on my computer)stuff that was absolutely no challange to play lead to and they limited lead breaks to just a few bars lasting about 20-30 seconds-if that.I could have grinned and beared and made pretty good money every weekend but I wouldn't have been happy playing stuff that held no challange and totally lacked soul or feeling.

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'65 Strat,65 Mustang,65 Jaguar,4 more Strats,3 vintage Vox guitars,5 Vox amps,'69 Bassman with a '68 2-15 Bassman cab,36 guitars total-15asst'd amps total,2 vintage '60s Hammond organs & a myriad of effects-with a few rare vintage ones.

+1 I've never been bounced but had the whole band dissolve. You just move on. Don't take anything personally and use it as a learning experience.
I get contacted from past musicians I've played with, but I don't know if I want to get back into it too deep again. Just keep looking. . I pretty much play for fun with a couple of different bands now.

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Life...... It's sexually transmitted and always fatal

Its a very strange situation. Their drummer/manager is still trying to work me in the band, but the guitarist/leader isn't "ready" to make any decisions. Previous to them, I've been asked by a few bands to join them, but my problem is they are bands into covers and high hopes of making it big. While I have no doubts they all might make it, that's not what I was looking for. Gigging locally 3 or 4 times a month is all I ask. I'm not in it for the money, just the music. A lot of the bands seeking guitarists are either fresh out of high school metal/hardcore bands that don't have a clue how to play with soul or they expect people to practice four or five times a week and gig all weekend long. I have a life with my family. I don't have their kind of time to waste. I've played rock and dabbled in metal, but after some time I realized I'm a blues player. I love the blues and wanted to join a real blues band.

Here's their band link: www.myspace.com/theshoprats

Here's mine: www.myspace.com/jayjayyew

They play tons of covers, I play tons of on the fly improvisations.

But I felt I'd fit in. What do you all think?

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"Epitaph on a blues musician’s tombstone: “I didn’t wake up this morning”" Davy Knowles


facebook.com/313DBC

Of topic.. DetroitBlues, we have it in the works right now to play a festival on a river in Michigan next year. Know anything about it? I heard it was a pretty big festival.

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HaleAmano- House Of Sharks (Now On iTunes)
http://www.reverbnation.com/haleamano
http://www.haleamano.com

No idea. Michigan has 11,000 lakes besides the Great Lakes the world knows. Most of those bodies of water have rivers and streams connecting them to the big lakes...

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"Epitaph on a blues musician’s tombstone: “I didn’t wake up this morning”" Davy Knowles


facebook.com/313DBC

Actually, all three have happened.

No band I was in ever did much, but I was accepted into bands, I was not invited to join bands, and I declined to join.

One time it was kind of both.

One band I declined was when I answered an ad at a music store and went to jam, and had a good time, the guy was trying to put together a new version of his old band. When I left he gave me some stuff he had written--both lyrics and philosophy behind his music.
I read it, and never jammed with again, although he did call to invite me back.
It was too weird, and kind of freaked me out.

Another time a trio was looking to add a second guitarist and a vocalist.
They did plays some stuff just as a trio, as well as play with me and a singer.
It was fun, and they liked my playing and stuff, but it was obvious that I didn't really fit in with them.
If they had asked me to join, I would have probably declined, as they were so good as a trio, but as a 5 piece with me and the vocalist, it lost something.
they were better as a trio.

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It wasn't Willy-Nilly, it was at crows.