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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 5:31 pm
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No it isn't, you're just building it up that way in your mind mate.

Trust me Riley, when I was a kid I was bullied. I know just how horrible the situation is. I was as soft as cream cheese when I was 10. I'd go home with a bloody nose, the only person I had to turn to was my mom. She'd hit me until I went out and tackled the bully. I know it's the only way that works, even if you end up getting your head kicked in the bullying stops. What bullies hate is a person who isn't scared. They only pick people that are timid as victims. Soon as you lose that fear, you're no fun to em. Trust me mate this one kid was about three years my elder. It's a lot when you're that age. I've gone home pee'ed off, nose pouring bllod and snot. Knowing I'm gonna get it off my mom for fighting. She finds out I haven't stuck up for myself and starts hitting me round the head. Telling me not to come home till I've sorted him out. I end up running out the house, screaming down the street, tears, snot and arms flailing wildly at this kid. I literaly pounced on him and his mom pulled me off him. He never touched me again after that. Aside from pouncing on him, I never hit him at all. Like I said previous the world was more idylic then.

You're gonna be face to face with em at some point. Whether that be tomorrow and you say, "nah sorry lads, I've had a bad time out of you pair this last week or two. I don't wanna hang around with you". And then close the door (just be calm about it and state it like that with a even tempered voice). Or in a week or two's time when your in a situation where you have no choice but to be with em, you'll see em.

I know things are a little different these days. When I was a kid any fight was one on one only. Even bullies didn't gang up on you. They'd have a gang with em, but you knew it was between you and the ringleader. It honestly doesn't matter that much. When they see you're not scared they don't want to know. You wouldn't risk causing harm and possible prosecution unless you were getting the pleasure of knowing your victim was bricking himself.
Tell em, thanks but no thanks and leave em behind mate.

Sorry to point out the hard reality of it to you, but thats the way it is mate.

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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:10 pm
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if you're agile you could put a log across his face and haul $@!!

Otherwise you need to just be very confident and straight with Jake let him know what the issue is.

I feel for you man I had the same scenario 3-4 years back. Fortunately Im naturally well built so I didnt have to take any $@!&.
Im not one for violence usually but in this situation you need to find an advantage and use it.

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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:21 pm
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No point in me joining in as everything Nick said is the truth.

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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:59 pm
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again im with niki on this one.
dont know if fighting is the answer but i wouldnt start it if i were you.
i agree with niki that hiding behind a text makesyou look bad.
at some point in your life your gonna have to show yourself what your made of. face to face tell them both the deal. either your friend of 4 yrs will stand with you or he wont. best to find out now than later, cause at some point your gonna come face to face with these two and its just gonna be you 3.
niki stated that you fight to win. i agree screw the honor system.
pop those balz and he will drop like a wet towel. its at that point you need to take advantage of those moments hes down bro.
man the damage that can be done with knees and elbows is amazing.
im not a fighter either, but i wont have folks putting their hands on me in anger or in a attempt to bully me. their luck will soon change because im the wrong one. if you feel the need to drop your "buddy" because hes disrespected you then do so, because he has.
what does he say when he sees this? does he tell the dude that hes being a azz or what?

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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 8:50 pm
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ok heres what did happen. i didn't "hide behind a text", they came to my place and aaron apoligized (however you spell it) for what he'd been doing to me in the last couple of weeks, and he said he'd tooken it to far.

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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 12:46 am
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radio_friendly_unit_shifter wrote:
ok heres what did happen. i didn't "hide behind a text", they came to my place and aaron apoligized (however you spell it) for what he'd been doing to me in the last couple of weeks, and he said he'd tooken it to far.


Come on Riley, I don't think any of us are going to believe this, you are being intimidated into lying to us now, you must not allow this to happen.
We are your friends and you must not allow yourself to be isolated from us, that's a classic weapon these kind of people use.
You are not being a coward man, you are just being human and the odds are against you just now. However I do agree with Nik, when he says, next time they come around, meet them at the door and tell them in the way he outlined.
Have you spoken to your father about this?
have you had a quiet word with any adult authority about this? I mean close to home, not us guys. being so far away, we can only say, what we would do in this situation and yes, it's easy to talk. Not all of us would do what is being said when faced with the reality and it's not actually about what we 'would' do. It's about what you 'should' do.
Keep us in the loop and give this situation some careful consideration. Ignoring things, encourages things, I can go along with that truism, so this situation does need to be resolved.
Without physically fighting this guy, there are other weapons you can use, one of which is to go and have a talk with the local law, before this gets out of hand. Whatever you do, keep it calm and your feelings very clear.
Keep in touch with us man.
All the best.

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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:23 am
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Rhumba wrote:
radio_friendly_unit_shifter wrote:
ok heres what did happen. i didn't "hide behind a text", they came to my place and aaron apoligized (however you spell it) for what he'd been doing to me in the last couple of weeks, and he said he'd tooken it to far.


Come on Riley, I don't think any of us are going to believe this, you are being intimidated into lying to us now, you must not allow this to happen.
We are your friends and you must not allow yourself to be isolated from us, that's a classic weapon these kind of people use.
You are not being a coward man, you are just being human and the odds are against you just now. However I do agree with Nik, when he says, next time they come around, meet them at the door and tell them in the way he outlined.
Have you spoken to your father about this?
have you had a quiet word with any adult authority about this? I mean close to home, not us guys. being so far away, we can only say, what we would do in this situation and yes, it's easy to talk. Not all of us would do what is being said when faced with the reality and it's not actually about what we 'would' do. It's about what you 'should' do.
Keep us in the loop and give this situation some careful consideration. Ignoring things, encourages things, I can go along with that truism, so this situation does need to be resolved.
Without physically fighting this guy, there are other weapons you can use, one of which is to go and have a talk with the local law, before this gets out of hand. Whatever you do, keep it calm and your feelings very clear.
Keep in touch with us man.
All the best.

i'm bloody serious, jake told him that he'd taken it to far and what not, and they came over to my house to come apoligize, and then i told them to go away cause i didn't want to see anyone. what makes you say that i'm lying??

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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 2:30 am
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Glad you got this all sorted out.... and non-violently at that. Diplomacy is always the best way unless they don't listen

And seriously... I didn't the throat and temple could kill easily, I now think people are trying to kill me since those are their 2 favorite targets on me... been whacked in the temple and throat more times then I can count


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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:12 am
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Johnny, not kiddin you mate. I've seen it done twice. 2nd time round a guy in a pub, acting the prat. Annoyed the wrong person. All it took was a short sharp jab to just below the Adams apple. The guy was on the floor choking and suffocating all at the same time. Luckily the pub manager was a medic in the Falklands war. He leaped over the bar, put his fingers round the victims windpipe and popped it back out.
Quite harrowing I can tell you mate. Life is a very fragile thing.

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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:00 am
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radio_friendly_unit_shifter wrote:
Rhumba wrote:
radio_friendly_unit_shifter wrote:
ok heres what did happen. i didn't "hide behind a text", they came to my place and aaron apoligized (however you spell it) for what he'd been doing to me in the last couple of weeks, and he said he'd tooken it to far.


Come on Riley, I don't think any of us are going to believe this, you are being intimidated into lying to us now, you must not allow this to happen.
We are your friends and you must not allow yourself to be isolated from us, that's a classic weapon these kind of people use.
You are not being a coward man, you are just being human and the odds are against you just now. However I do agree with Nik, when he says, next time they come around, meet them at the door and tell them in the way he outlined.
Have you spoken to your father about this?
have you had a quiet word with any adult authority about this? I mean close to home, not us guys. being so far away, we can only say, what we would do in this situation and yes, it's easy to talk. Not all of us would do what is being said when faced with the reality and it's not actually about what we 'would' do. It's about what you 'should' do.
Keep us in the loop and give this situation some careful consideration. Ignoring things, encourages things, I can go along with that truism, so this situation does need to be resolved.
Without physically fighting this guy, there are other weapons you can use, one of which is to go and have a talk with the local law, before this gets out of hand. Whatever you do, keep it calm and your feelings very clear.
Keep in touch with us man.
All the best.

i'm bloody serious, jake told him that he'd taken it to far and what not, and they came over to my house to come apoligize, and then i told them to go away cause i didn't want to see anyone. what makes you say that i'm lying??


Okay Riley, I apologise, I obviously read the situation wrong, I'm glad to hear you're okay and got the problem sorted.
Well done.

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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:47 am
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You've gotten lots of advice,some good,some bad....dealing with a bully is never easy....I hope it's over for you,but remember one thing,fear is what they can see and they hope they don't see somebody who isn't afraid of them....you will notice how they usually suck up to people who they think are tough.
Sometimes all it takes is a look square in the eyes,and a message that you're not afraid and intend to no longer take it.
You will see if it strikes a chord deep inside him.


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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 9:58 am
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glad to hear it's sorted out and non-violently.
Now.....grab your guitar,tell Aaron to get on the harmonica and Jake on the bass and write some songs.Name the first song "The bully blues" :D
Eric

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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 10:25 am
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nikininja wrote:
Johnny, not kiddin you mate. I've seen it done twice. 2nd time round a guy in a pub, acting the prat. Annoyed the wrong person. All it took was a short sharp jab to just below the Adams apple. The guy was on the floor choking and suffocating all at the same time. Luckily the pub manager was a medic in the Falklands war. He leaped over the bar, put his fingers round the victims windpipe and popped it back out.
Quite harrowing I can tell you mate. Life is a very fragile thing.


He's right Johnny, things can happen that you don't expect. One of my friends from high school got into a fight one night hit a guy in the jaw and knocked him out. The guy fell and hit his head on the pavement died a few minutes later. Even though the other guy started it my friend was charged with manslaughter and spent 2 years in prison.

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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:02 am
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Well Riley, I do hope that this is all sorted out as you said. I hate to admit it, but I was bullied as a kid myself. I never stood up for myself and now that I am older and wiser, there are times that I wished I would have and other times that I am glad that I didn't. It's a tough call to advise you on what to do, now or if it should happen in the future.

One of my bullies almost killed a lady in a public laundry mat and another just got out of prison for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.



Jim


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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:18 am
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Voodoo Blues wrote:
nikininja wrote:
Johnny, not kiddin you mate. I've seen it done twice. 2nd time round a guy in a pub, acting the prat. Annoyed the wrong person. All it took was a short sharp jab to just below the Adams apple. The guy was on the floor choking and suffocating all at the same time. Luckily the pub manager was a medic in the Falklands war. He leaped over the bar, put his fingers round the victims windpipe and popped it back out.
Quite harrowing I can tell you mate. Life is a very fragile thing.


He's right Johnny, things can happen that you don't expect. One of my friends from high school got into a fight one night hit a guy in the jaw and knocked him out. The guy fell and hit his head on the pavement died a few minutes later. Even though the other guy started it my friend was charged with manslaughter and spent 2 years in prison.
Man,I guess the self defense case didn't work?
I've known weird things could happen and people can die when you don't think it's that hard a blow,that's one reason we were always told by the karate instructors to only fight to defend ourselves .....you can learn stuff that can kill people...or get yourself killed.


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