I find writing about what has effected me--good or bad--is very therapeutic.

About thirteen years ago, in the course of four months, I lost my "little brother" Stephen (a kid of 16 whom I had known most of his life; I was teaching him to play guitar and we worked on our hot rods together--He had a 67 Chevelle and I had a 64 Ford. He had grown up next door to my wife's family, so she had the same tender feelings for him; he was about eleven years younger than me) and also my grandmother, who by circumstance was the only grandparent I had in my life...and she was, by any account, a hell of a woman.

The morning after my grandmother died, the song I had been writing about Stephen that had been rolling around in my head for four months seemed to complete itself...the melody gelled, the lyrics flowed and the "feel" was captured.

The song is truly about both of them--although she is mentioned by name, while he is not. The song is abstract enough that many people have said,
"Is it about a lost love?"
"Is it about a friend/relative/etc that died?"
"Is it about growing old?" (which is funny because I was 27 when I wrote it)
"Is it about being lost?"

I played the song for my mother (it was her mother that had died) the day I wrote it, and she cried but felt it was a beautiful tribute (she knew it was about both of them).
I did not play it for Stephen's parents for a long time, because their sorrow was so sharp and painful; when I did play it for them (and his fleshly brother and sister), they totally missed the references to my grandmother (whom they knew), but felt it perfectly captured the sense of loss they felt.
The drummer in my band knew Stephen (he had worked for his parents at one time); when I recorded it with him (four years or so after the death), he did not know who I wrote it for; while mixing/producing it, however, he said he thought of Stephen (who we both knew) and several other friends of his that he had lost (whom I did not know).

I'm not saying that I am a great songwriter, but sometimes sharing our losses and triumphs in a song can inspire or comfort others as much as ourselves...

...it's never too early to write such a song, as long as your spirit can handle the examination of the wound.

_________________
Good Vibes To Y'all!



Screamin' Armadillos
Texas Roadhouse Music
Guitar/Slide Guitar/Harp/Vocals

Therein lies the rub. The wound may be too fresh to think that much about it. Since she died, I've basically tried to keep my mind off of it by keeping busy. I have a lot of dreams with her in them. They ordinarily make feel good, but not when we fight in a dream. Anyway, it might be therapeutic to just sit down with pen and paper and see what comes out.

Laughingpanther, deepest sympathies.

This life's love has been gone from this realm for 23+ years...

...'hardly ever think of her any more.

Maybe only once an hour.

Get on with living a good life as best you can, don't waste it. Write a hundred songs for her if you want.

In your novel, make her as vibrant and alive and in perfect health as when you fell in love with her. And you will cry and fall in love with her all over again.

And if you feel the need, write her love letters. She will read them and maybe even respond.

Prayers, Man.

my deepest sympathy...

start writing down how much you feel for her, anything goes ends well...everything is just within your heart.