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Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:06 pm
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Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
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Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:43 pm
Posts: 535
Gldfshkpr, i'm going to tell it to you straight. All your'e going to accomplish by putting yourself through all this mental anguish, and i shudder to think what impact he's having on your family, is becoming his enabler. He already has a safe haven to act horribly in at your place. That's what they do, substance abusers. They seek out the few or one remaining friend or family member who is still going to open their doors for them to come in and start their sickening routine. It will never get better, no matter what you do! You can't fix him! It is most important for you and your family that you stop imagining that you can do him one bit of good by providing him an audience for his acting out his vile behaviour. The best thing for him right now, is that he takes whatever fall necessary to force him to make an honest account of himself, so he can change his ways. As long as he's getting away with his current behaviour, it will only get worse. I wish you good fortune in this, i hope you will cut your losses and move on. Do yourself a kindness, and stop trying to be responsible for his addiction. It's hugely overblown thinking on your part to imagine that you could cure him of his ills, by being his faithful friend. That's the first thing you need to get out of your head, right now! Please forgive my bluntness, but you are speaking of some codependent behaviours, that can be bad for you. Do a google search under codependent relationships, it'll help you a lot. I'm sorry if this upsets, you, but i wouldn't be doing you any favors by being anything less than brutally honest with you. I sincerely wish the best for you and yours, and i had to offer you my best advice, in the hopes of you getting this over with and moving on as soon as possible to more peace in your home in the future. May the Lord bless you, and give you comfort.

_________________
I believe in Christianity as i believe that the sun has risen. not only because i see it, but because by it, i see everything else. C.S. Lewis


Last edited by PlankSpanker on Tue Jul 06, 2010 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:20 pm
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Professional Musician
Professional Musician

Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:56 am
Posts: 2766
Location: metro Chicago USA
Jeebus, please get help.

Especially before your liver is done in. No one lives without a liver.


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:57 pm
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Hobbyist
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Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:05 pm
Posts: 80
You know the old saying: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Watch your back, dude! Been there, done that!


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 5:39 pm
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Professional Musician
Professional Musician
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 2:58 pm
Posts: 2293
Location: Adirondacks
This may sound terrible, but I have been burned so many times that I do not let people close enough to be friends. I am friendly with folks but very few are in what I would call my circle of friends because of situations just like this. But you guys here...are all my forum friend so it is all good...if I tick any of you off you can always ignore me..:)
ABS :D


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Post subject:
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 11:12 pm
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Rock Star
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Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 2:55 am
Posts: 4017
Location: Australia, VIC
on new years eve 08-09, we had 2 drunks in our front yard, only me and my brother were home. We waited for a while, about 10 minuts later they left.

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riley


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Post subject:
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 12:49 am
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Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
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Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:52 pm
Posts: 505
Location: East Bay Area - California, USA
davemercier wrote:
Gldfshkpr, i'm going to tell it to you straight. All your'e going to accomplish by putting yourself through all this mental anguish, and i shudder to think what impact he's having on your family, is becoming his enabler. He already has a safe haven to act horribly in at your place. That's what they do, substance abusers. They seek out the few or one remaining friend or family member who is still going to open their doors for them to come in and start their sickening routine. It will never get better, no matter what you do! You can't fix him! It is most important for you and your family that you stop imagining that you can do him one bit of good by providing him an audience for his acting out his vile behaviour. The best thing for him right now, is that he takes whatever fall necessary to force him to make an honest account of himself, so he can change his ways. As long as he's getting away with his current behaviour, it will only get worse. I wish you good fortune in this, i hope you will cut your losses and move on. Do yourself a kindness, and stop trying to be responsible for his addiction. It's hugely overblown thinking on your part to imagine that you could cure him of his ills, by being his faithful friend. That's the first thing you need to get out of your head, right now! Please forgive my bluntness, but you are speaking of some codependent behaviours, that can be bad for you. Do a google search under codependent relationships, it'll help you a lot. I'm sorry if this upsets, you, but i wouldn't be doing you any favors by being anything less than brutally honest with you. I sincerely wish the best for you and yours, and i had to offer you my best advice, in the hopes of you getting this over with and moving on as soon as possible to more peace in your home in the future. May the Lord bless you, and give you comfort.


Dave, I follow your posts on the Spyderco forum. You make sense. It's just, he's such a fixture around here. How do I ...

He needs to get help. Maybe I'll drag the mf there my self. I do care about.him. So does my family.

_________________
-Kirk

GUITARS
'12 Sonoran Acoustic - black (dated 10/31/12)
'13 Standard Strat
AMP
Vox ac4c1-bl
PEDALS
Compressor
Big Muff
Vox Stomplab 1G
Carbon Copy Delay


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Post subject:
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 12:51 am
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Aspiring Musician
Aspiring Musician
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:52 pm
Posts: 505
Location: East Bay Area - California, USA
Hey, BTW. What do you play?

_________________
-Kirk

GUITARS
'12 Sonoran Acoustic - black (dated 10/31/12)
'13 Standard Strat
AMP
Vox ac4c1-bl
PEDALS
Compressor
Big Muff
Vox Stomplab 1G
Carbon Copy Delay


Top
Profile
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