Dunno - he was nine sheets to the wind at the time...


He'd been eating the finger food, had he?

... - C

if you want a nice little story to tell, and I can't take credit for it, I have no idea where it originated. now a little background, up here you can't buy beer anywhere but liquor stores/hotel offsales, etc. but not at a convenience store or anywhere, so when we travel to the US it's a bit of a novelty to get beer from the cooler beside the coke and pepsi.

Now a lot of people here don't know the liquor laws in the states so this story is a bit of an easy sell. (Personally i am not sure if the Sunday rules still apply, or if even the State i use in the story has liquor laws that conform to the story.) so here goes:

A couple months ago some buddies and i went down to Montana to see a gig. It was Sunday and we were driving back up to Canada and stopped for gas. lo and behold to my surprise right beside the cooler with the soda was one stocked with six packs of beer.

So we grabbed some snacks and I grabbed a couple of six packs and headed to the counter. The cashier said i couldn't get the beer. So I whipped out my ID and said "I haven't been 21 for a long time, I want some beer."

He said "Sorry Buddy, not on Sunday!" I thought this was weird, not knowing the local laws. and he said " you can't buy it, it's illegal to sell on sunday , you need to put it back."

so i trudged back to the cooler and when i was putting back the 2nd six pack I dropped it. it broke everywhere.

The cashier came running over yelling " YOU BREAK IT YOU BOUGHT IT!!! YOU BREAK IT YOU BOUGHT IT!!!'

I looked him square in the eye and said "Sorry buddy not on Sunday!"

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I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

You guys are something! I just had to stop in to see what all the conversation was about. A lesson in joke telling!!
BTW,RR nice guitar buddy!!

Carry on!!!

A few years back I was down on my luck, between jobs. i was living in a cardboard refrigerator carton under a freeway overpass. I had run out of oranges to sell to passing motorists and begging for change was getting me nowhere. So I decided to walk over to one of the more well to do neighborhoods, and look for some kind of odd jobs.

I knocked on several doors and no one would answer, though a few times I saw people peeking out though their blinds.

Eventually i came to a really nice house, almost a mansion really. I knocked and a middle aged woman answered.

I told her i hadn't eaten in days, and i would be willing to trade some labour for a bit of food. She must have felt pity for my disheveled appearance. She told me to wait, and stepped away from the door. when she returned when she returned she had a bucket of dark brown stain and a couple brushes. She told me to go around back, and paint the porch and when I was done she would have some sandwiches and something for me to drink.

Ten minutes later i knocked on the door and told her i was done and ready to eat.

She said "it's only been ten minutes there's no way you could possibly have finished painting the porch.'

I told her "well, it really wasn't that big a job, oh and by the way it wasn't a Porsche it was a Ferrari"!

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I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

12Bar wrote - told her "well, it really wasn't that big a job, oh and by the way it wasn't a Porsche it was a Ferrari"!

Doh Doh Doh Doh Doh Doh Doh Doh..................................................................................................................................................................................Doh

Boy, am I slow today!! Just now got that joke 12B!!!

i'm here all week folks!

Two atoms are drinking at the bar. Suddenly one says to the other, "Jeez can you help me look on the floor I've just lost one of my electrons!"

The other ask "Really, are you sure?"

He says "Yeah, I'm positive"

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I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

I broke wind in a crowded elevator. That's wrong on so many levels...

- C

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

he worked it out with a pencil!

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I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

Ooh, nerdy science jokes! Here's another one:

A neutron goes into a bar and orders a drink. He asks the bartender how much he owes. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

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I really like all them "Aster" guitars. You know, like the Stratoc, Telec and Jazzm.

Did I already do my deja vu joke...?

...

I read a book about a transsexual with a speech impediment. It's called Man or Myth.

...

A man was killed by a falling piano. His funeral was very low key.

B flat.



... - C

I dated a girl with a speech impediment , she couldn't say no!

...

science stuff?!?!...

_________________
I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

Did I already do my deja vu joke?

...

I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet. He sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turned out I'd called Dial-a-Llama by mistake...

- C

_________________
I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

How we doing so far, RR?

My grandfather - about a month before he died we covered his back in lard. After that he went down hill very quickly.

...

I recently had bird flu. It's all relative, isn't it? If I had rabies and you offered me bird flu I'd bite your hand off, wouldn't I?

...

Some people say the fire fighters deserve more money but apparently a pole was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor.

- C