does he need a trombone player Ceri

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.

Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside a harmless old hound dog was asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The amused stranger inquired, "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

The owner responded, "Because, before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

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I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."

Good! That's added to the collection.

Along with several others on this thread.

Cheers - C

My first wife's sister's first husband (whew!) had a cousin who was a Cajun stand-up comic named Craig Soileau. He used to tell this story (which is much better when heard with a Cajun accent).

Maurice Boudreax was the first person from Mamou to get a scholarship to Notre Dame, and every one was very proud. So his Papa sent him off to school with $50 and his old pistol for protection.
Well, Maurice fell in with a fast crowd and that $50 was soon gone. So he set his mind to thinking of how he could get more money from home.

Well, he calls his Papa one day and after the small talk, he tells his father that the professors at Notre Dame are so smart that they can teach a dog to talk. "Just think, Papa, you and old Blue could sit on the porch or out at the deer camp and talk about all the good times you have had! Just send him up here with $100 and they will teach him to talk!"

So his Papa sends his old hounddog Blue with $100 to his son at Notre Dame. Well, that $100 burns a hole in his pocket and is gone as fast as the $50 was. So Maurice tries to think of a way to get more money from home.
He calls his Papa, and puts his roommate on the phone posing as old Blue (after coaching him with some stories). His Papa is amazed! Then Maurice tells him that the professors at Notre Dame are so smart that they can teach old Blue to read! "I know your eyesight isn't what it used to be, Papa, and your bifocals give you a headache. Just think if old Blue could read the newspaper to you every day! Just sent $150 and they will teach him to read!"
So his Papa sends him $150.

Then comes Christmas break, and Maurice must go home with old Blue. And he knows that his whole family, and the whole town of Mamou, will be there to see the dog that talks and reads. And he doesn't know what he is going to do or say.
They take the bus to Baton Rouge and then hitch a ride to Mamou. Halfway there, he asks the driver to stop and goes out in the woods with the dog. A shot rings out, and Maurice gets back in the car alone.

When he gets home, there is a huge crowd at his house to welcome him home and to see this marvel of a dog. His Papa looks at him, frowns, and pulls him aside to ask him where old Blue is.

"Well, Papa, it is like this. We are riding the bus and old Blue is looking at Newsweek. Then we get in the car and he finishes reading the New York Times. Then he folds it up, puts it in his lap and asks me 'Is your Papa still screwing around with Thibideaux's old lady Marie?"

His Papa says "I hope you shot that loudmouth flea bitten old hound!'

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Ignorance IS bliss - and I am the happiest person here!