I'm bored; and you all know what happens when I get bored! Here's my latest thought provoking compendium for your review and participation:

We all read them, the constantly abused and misused 'hook' words or phrases many a deceptive poster will use when describing his or her instruments for sale. Unfortunately this is a detriment to all honorable posters who are sincere about the accuracy of said 'hooks'.

As a public service of sorts, I figured it's time to come up with a dictionary of said deceptive posters real meanings (in no particular order). I invite everyone to post and feel free to augment anything I've already covered:

Rare: "I've personally never seen another one yet have never verified the total production of same and hope you haven't either for the sake of this sale so I can get more than this is intrinsically worth."

Professionally Upgraded: "At best, this is a lateral modification where in hindsight, my tech saw me coming. In reality, it may be useful to a few but I'm sure, useless to most. I was prompted by my compulsion to screw around with a perfectly good piece of equipment and now, the novelty has worn off so I must sell it."

Modified: "It seemed like a good idea at the time and I really did try. Regardless, you would do well to scrutinize the daylights out of this before you even considered buying it."

Must Sell: "I'm freakin' desperate to unload this POS as I've tried several times before to no avail."

Must See: "You've seen one, you've seen them all. I just couldn't find anything else superlative to try and reel you in with."

Plays Like Butter: "The action is too low and the strings are dead.

Plays Like a Dream: "This guitar is really loused up and I wouldn't know where to begin to remedy it. I'm certainly not going to pay a pro to fix it so, I'm hoping you will just buy it."

Sustain for Days: Action is too high; neck is severely bowed.

Feeler: "I don't want to make a fool out of myself posting a price so hopefully some chump will latch onto this and offer me more than even I have the 'spherical objects' to ask for it."

Equipment Purge: "I want to make some bucks turning all my crap into your crap."

Pre-eBay Sale: "Hopefully, this will instill some sense of urgency in you to buy my trash as if it were any good, I wouldn't be 'threatening' to e-Bay it in the first place."

For Auction: "Don't even waste your time reading this as what I'm selling, I haven't even the nerve to post as a Pre-eBay Sale."

Reliced: "Utterly beat to a pulp by me yet I have high hopes of that some fool under the premise of 'mojo' will buy it any way."

Project Instrument: "I destroyed something major. Now, just like a used car, I want to sell you my problem in perpetuity."

Parting Out: "I can't even sell it as a Project Instrument so, I'll try to recoup my losses by attempting to unload it piece by piece. Hopefully, I'll become a 'one-shot' Stratosphere even though my stuff is truly from hunger."

Boutique: "I and/or my friend slapped this together and now I'm trying to imbue some kind of superior value to it because we are proud of it. Beware!"

Celebrity Owned: "Man, I am totally desperate to unload this POS!"

Factory One Off: "I screwed around with it where of course, there is no traceability for my claiming it was factory done. Notwithstanding, I want to unload this by outright ripping you off."

Selling to Fund a New Project: "I've destroyed enough of this stuff and am totally in over my head, both technically and financially. Please buy all this garbage I have accumulated so I can repeat the cycle all over again."

Used but Not Abused: "I never really took care of it and hopefully, you won't find all the stuff wrong with it that I know about."

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You dig?

An adendum here:


alternate definitions:

Incredibly bad soldering, or other handy work, done poorly by me.

or:
Extremely over priced pickups/switches/ bridge/block/ whatever that I expected to change my anemic tone and terrible playing into a direct clone of my favorite player which instead only served to accentuate the many many weaknesses in my technique. now i need to get this out of my house, so i can again focus on finding a mechanical way to enhance my sound rather than actually spending time practicing.

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I'm not an expert, but I play one on the internet.

Thinning The Herd - I just don't want this POS anymore!

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Being able to play and enjoy music is a gift that's often taken for granted.

Don't leave home without it!

Or I'm broke and need some money!!

Oh Man, you guys crack me up

Must Sacrifice: Im willing to part with it, so you can enjoy the living hell I've had with it...

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Hey, Boy Blue is back!

Custom One Of A Kind - In the entire history of guitar building, no one else has ever thought to throw together the mish-mash of parts I used to assemble this beauty.

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“All music is folk music, I ain't never heard no horse sing a song.” Louis Armstrong

"Insert artist name here" style

Something somewhat resembling an instrument a particular artist may have used at some point

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Rated "M" for meaty.

Have Two and only Need One - I tried a modification and didn't like the way it sounded or felt, so I got another and you can have the bad one.

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Being able to play and enjoy music is a gift that's often taken for granted.

Don't leave home without it!

and i thought you were going to say its time to get naked.....erm nvm

I saw this on my local CL and had to chuckle. It reminded me of this thread.

"Custom put together tele..,"

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/msg/1603795582.html

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“All music is folk music, I ain't never heard no horse sing a song.” Louis Armstrong

Alternative meaning...Messed up so bad that even Ceri cannot restore it.

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RK

2007 Fender Highway 1
2012 American Deluxe
2015 MIM Dave Murray HHH
2010 Fender Blacktop
1987 Fender Avalon Acoustic
2012 Marshall DSL 15 watt head

Unmolested original-The guitar sounded and played that bad I put it in the case and left it in a closet for years.

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'65 Strat,65 Mustang,65 Jaguar,4 more Strats,3 vintage Vox guitars,5 Vox amps,'69 Bassman with a '68 2-15 Bassman cab,36 guitars total-15asst'd amps total,2 vintage '60s Hammond organs & a myriad of effects-with a few rare vintage ones.

I hate to Sell----In reality I will be glad to get rid of this crap.

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The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

Thomas Jefferson