LadyVendettaAngel recently asked people on the Squier forum about the proper way to get her knobs off. Having a somewhat dirty mind, I found this question very amusing (sorry, LVA! ).

It got me thinking: what other things do guitarists say that sound dirty but that really aren't?

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I really like all them "Aster" guitars. You know, like the Stratoc, Telec and Jazzm.

Anything to do with the g-string, really.

It's bad, I know.

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"Speak the truth, and speak it ever,
cost it what it will
for he who hides the wrong he did
did the wrong thing still."
-Miss Uel

Someone on a bus the other week heard me say to my friend that I couldn't wait to get home and fire up my Muff. I then said ''...seriously, I can't wait to play with it, I love my Big Muff''

CC

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Fender Stratocaster (parts build)
Fender Telecaster 72 Custom RI
Fender Telecoustic Deluxe
Gretsch Electromatic Pro-Jet
Gibson Les Paul Standard Plus
Gibson ES-135
Zenith Type-17
Marshall 70's JMP Superbass 100w
Blackstar HT-5

well, there's nuts swapping...

teaching people to play songs... "now put your finger on the g string, second fret".

some gibson guys have a wrap around tailpiece... (sounds dirty to me)

strings with ball ends...

heck, i've even made a few friends laugh explaining the truss rod..

French Lick Indiana, home of Larry Bird

The dirtiest sounding combination of words ever must be

Fish paste.

Dunno why, I just find that combination of words quite repulsive.

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No no and no

Need to change my g string later. As ya said, anything to do g string. Have ya got your strap on? I'm away home to have a good fiddle with my axe. Oh there's more...

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thought of you tonight, in simple twists and turns, incarcerated here, i'm handcuffed to your world, your innocence is cruel, coquettish and arcane, but i need it all the same

Nut lube
And lets not forget the Town of Intercourse Pennsylvania

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The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

Thomas Jefferson

I'm off to touch up my lacquer. I got a dent on my tail end.

Oh, and I like Strats because their butts feel better in my left hand.

BTW: if we're doing place names my country is the world champion. One of my American friends can be kept happy for hours with a map of Britain on which he hunts down places with names such as:

Wetwang
Bonkle
Cockermouth
Giggleswick
Ugley (with its famous Ulgey Women's Institute)
Badgers Bottom
Butt Hill
Lickey End
Crapstone
Muffworthy
Piddlehinton
Upper Thong
Thrashbush

and on and on and on. And those aren't the silliest...

- C

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Also

wyre Piddle about 30 miles south of Lickey End (i used to live right by there)

Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)

Brown Willy (Cornwall)

I'm sorry but do we have anything to compare to these places

Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
Tittybong (Australia)

Lets just hope the censor program passes over them.


[EDIT]

I need to add this that I just found. Its stunning, like it was written by Finbar Saunders for anyone that reads Viz. (utter smut)


http://tinyurl.com/ml5pmu

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No no and no

Nut sauce (guitar nut, you sicko's)

oh, you wanna talk cities and locations? turns out the Amish are pretty kinky.

(all in the state of PA)
Intercourse
Blue Ball
Bird-in-Hand
Fertility

check this out: http://www.funnytowns.com/

Come, come: Sexmoan gives us stiff competition, I grant you. But you had to go to three different countries for that short list. In addition to the above, the following all come from our one small country:

Backside
Nether Wallop
Penistone
Peover Superior
Titsey
Bell End
Lickfold
Dogdyke
Buttocks Booth
Nobber

etc etc etc.

And those are just the rude ones. Many more that are just plain silly:

Splatt
Burpham
Great Snoring
Beer
Plucks Gutter
Toe Head
Tongue
Bishops Itchington

And endless more. I humbly submit that we have a greater concentration of absurd place names than anywhere else.

That's my view and I'm sticking to it.

Cheers - C

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Yeah ok I'll concede that. Being a shire boy I'm quite familiar with Bishops Itchington, wyre piddle and Lickey End (home to one of the most beautifull inland parks anywhere, The Lickey Hills). Also I pass through Dogdyke quite regularly these days and Fockingham too.

Utterly absurd but not rude village name to add to the list, Upton Snodsberry.

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No no and no

There is a town in Austria named F#cking.