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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 7:28 pm
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Words heard by a banjo player in a three piece suit...........
"Will the defendant please rise......... ?



Steel player to the guitarist...........
"YOU are out of tune again!.........." (that one's not really a joke, it happens all the time.)


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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 7:31 pm
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Aspiring Musician
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Q:What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of
his mouth?
A: The stage is level.



Q: What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
A: He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

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"While My Guitar Gently Weeps."

My dad said, "I'm going to miss you."
I said, "Well, now that I broke that sight off your rifle..." (Emo Philips)


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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:00 pm
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Location: Illinois, USA
what do you call 18 bass guitar players in a circle holding hands?














a dope ring

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you can save the world with your guitar one love song at a time it's just better, more fun, easier with a fender solid body electric guitar or electric bass guitar.


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Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 3:12 pm
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Q: How do you know if a musician slept on your couch?

A: He's still there...


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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:29 am
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The great hunter is on safari. He has the bearers carrying his supplies and a native guide to lead him through the jungle. After several days they start hearing drums in the distance and the bearers become a bit restless.

The hunter asks his guide, "Why are the drums pounding and the bearers getting upset?" The guide replys, "When drums stop, very bad!"

The hunter and his troop continue through the jungle, the drums pounding incessantly and getting louder as they go. As the days go by the bearers grow increasingly agitated.

The hunter again asks his guide, "Why are the drums pounding so loudly and continuously, and the bearers growing more and more upset?" The guide replys again, "When drums stop very, very bad!"

After several more days of the never ending pounding the drums finally stop. The hunter and his troop stop and listen to the silence, when suddenly the bearers throw down everything and run screaming into the jungle. The guide turns to run, the hunter grabs him and yells, "The drums have stopped, why is everyone running away?" As the guide pulls away and continues to run into the jungle he screams, "BASS SOLO!"


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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:27 am
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Location: Las Vegas
Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified.


Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
A: A Chopin Liszt.


Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A: A pair of Re-bachs.


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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:00 am
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Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:13 am
Posts: 3317
Location: The Alpha Quadrant.
Fender Vox wrote:
The great hunter is on safari. He has the bearers carrying his supplies and a native guide to lead him through the jungle. After several days they start hearing drums in the distance and the bearers become a bit restless.

The hunter asks his guide, "Why are the drums pounding and the bearers getting upset?" The guide replys, "When drums stop, very bad!"

The hunter and his troop continue through the jungle, the drums pounding incessantly and getting louder as they go. As the days go by the bearers grow increasingly agitated.

The hunter again asks his guide, "Why are the drums pounding so loudly and continuously, and the bearers growing more and more upset?" The guide replys again, "When drums stop very, very bad!"

After several more days of the never ending pounding the drums finally stop. The hunter and his troop stop and listen to the silence, when suddenly the bearers throw down everything and run screaming into the jungle. The guide turns to run, the hunter grabs him and yells, "The drums have stopped, why is everyone running away?" As the guide pulls away and continues to run into the jungle he screams, "BASS SOLO!"



Thats brilliant! lol

CC

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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:01 pm
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Professional Musician
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Posts: 2621
Location: Sunny So Cal
When does a banjo sound best?

Hitting the bottom of a dumpster.

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"Life is like eating jalapenos. What you do today may burn your arse tomorrow"
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