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Post subject: Questions Which Should Be Ignored/Banned
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:36 pm
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I'm bored. So, let's make a list. Just add onto mine:

1. Which is absolutely better, alder or ash?
2. Which is absolutely better, rosewood or maple?
3. I'm brand new to guitar and just bought my first one, what are pickups and which should I put in it?
4. Same intro as #3, What brand/gauge strings and picks should I use?
5. Who is the best guitar player, alive or dead?
6. My amp makes funny noises, what's wrong with it?
7. What's the best style of music?
8. I abused the living 'fecal matter' out of my tremolo arm. How did the arm's threads get stripped and what do I do about it? Is this a warranty issue?
9. I have a (fill in the extremely popular guitar which there is tons of info readily available on the web about). Will someone please tell me everything there can possibly be told about it right down to its most infinitesimal, inane minutiae?
10. What's better, a humbucker or a single coil?
11. What's better, a Gibson or a Fender?
12, If I buy (fill in the blanks for a given guitar and amp), can I play just like SRV or EVH?
13. I am totally and completely, musically illiterate, proud of it and will never do anythng to change it. How do I become a professional musician as I can absolutely blow away all my adolescent peers?
14. I'm pretty handy around the house, how do I build a guitar?
15. My guitar won't tune and the strings are only 9 months old as that's how long ago it was that I bought it at a garage sale, what gives?
16. Where can I get Fender headstock decals?
17. I built a Strat out of cheap, knockoff piece parts and now, it blows away any genuine Strat ever made. Surely this would now qualify me for a Fender decal?
18. Should I relic...?
19. I just 'professionally' did my very first upgrade by installing an old Squier single coil set in and then shielded my X-199 Weasel Stank Guitar (surely, there are none better). I stand 6" away from my dimed, 200W, 8 12" speakers stack and have my 15 floor pedals cranked as well. I'm getting all this howl and hum. Did I forget to ground something? Do I have bad wiring here in my cinder blocked garage?
20. Hey Brad, how can I get me a job at Fender in spite of the fact that I have zero marketable skills and live all the way across the country from you all?

Somebody please take over now. :roll:

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:47 pm
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What's the best amp for,(fill in the blank) 8) Mike 8)

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:50 pm
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Okay, now just calmly step away from the keyboard and have the beverage of your choice. Relax and take a deep breath and know that the world is good.

Oh and by the way, how do you post pics on this forum? :wink:

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:14 pm
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1. I lost that little spring that was in the hole where my tremelo goes in to. Is it going to hurt my guitar? Where can I get a new one?

2. Is a tube amp really better than a non-tube amp?

3. Which is better MIA or MIM guitars?

Next...

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:49 pm
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words of wisdom Martian.

How about:

Which colour of guitar makes you play faster?

This is a stupid question because everyone knows it's red.

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:14 pm
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Location: west virginia
Who's better ______ or ________?

Why are Teles primarily used in country music?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Which do you use primarily Fender or Gibson?

How Much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:34 pm
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Got Milk?

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:57 pm
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Finally a thread that is well thought out, articulated in great fashion, covers all the most important topics that we really need to see much more of, and is frickin funny as all get out.

Thank you Martain.

Sorry but I gotta’ and get me some Texas specials so I can play and sound just like Stevie Ray Vaughn


Cheers
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Post subject: THE List
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:17 pm
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Why is the Strat Blue?
Fat Elvis or Skinny Elvis?
Is a gig bag really safe for my Clunkmaster?
Analog or Digital????


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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:03 pm
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Nice work!

Poly or nitro? which one is better? :P


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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:05 pm
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Wots uh spel checkur?

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:07 pm
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Great post Martian. The only one on your list that I would keep is the one about amps making noises. I believe that is a valid question and one that I have seen you come to the aid of someone and help them out. Maybe you are just worn out about ansewring all of them.lol The one that twist me is when they ask what type of pickup should they change to without them ever hearing it knowing everyone has different taste. Besides they dont understand that even if they played threw there idols exact rig they would still sound like themselves.


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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:12 pm
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I just think non-specific questions of any kind are the most annoying.
"I have a *model name* Fender Stratocaster, I play *music style #1 and #2*, I want my guitar to sound more like *tone quality #1 and #2*, and I narrowed it down to *pickup #1 and #2*. Do any of you use those pickups?" is not annoying.

"My pickups are crappy, which ones sound best?" is very annoying.

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:27 pm
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Twelvebar wrote:
words of wisdom Martian.

How about:

Which colour of guitar makes you play faster?

This is a stupid question because everyone knows it's red.

Na!!!! That would be candy Green!!!! :lol:

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Post subject:
Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:53 am
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cvilleira wrote:
Twelvebar wrote:
words of wisdom Martian.

How about:

Which colour of guitar makes you play faster?

This is a stupid question because everyone knows it's red.

Na!!!! That would be candy Green!!!! :lol:


Nope its definately red. Their 15 milliseconds faster over 3 octave Amaj scale played at the 5th fret. If you get the HSS model, with a maple board and a floyd, you may find it up to 17milliseconds faster than any green one.

The Green ones sound better and are going to be more collectable in the future though.

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