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Post subject: i just wrote this and i want some feedback, bring it on
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:53 pm
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Roadie
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Location: Hickory north carolina
i wrote this in like 30 mins and idk i thought it was pretty good


im stuck between you two
tryin so hard to choose
which path to take
don want no heart break

this pain is killin me
bringin me to my knees
and all i can do is
to beg you both please

please just let me be
give me time to think
how i can deal with this
choice burdning me

i cant deal
with this kinda stress
your both pulling
me to the
end of my thread
and i cant take this
anymore!

just dont ask why
im takin my time
im gonna
deal with this
in due time
but its makin my soul
so damn sore!

how could this happen to me
i could be so happy
but happiness
has got its price for me

they tell me just to follow my heart
but my hearts covered in scars
from past mistakes made from
this ver same heart

i cant wait to long
or both will be long gone
and then itll be as if
i did you both wrong

i cant deal
whith this kinda stress
your both pulling
me to the
end of my thread
and i cant take this
anymore!

just dont ask why
im takin my time
im gonna deal
with this
in due time
but its makin my soul
so damn sore!

ive had you
to many times before
and every single
time youve walked
right out the door

your just coming
into my life
baby im sorry
but this has
to end tonight
just promise me
you wont cry!

i cant deal
whith this kinda stress
your both pulling
me to the
end of my thread
and i cant take this
anymore!

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:03 pm
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Rock Star
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Location: The Alpha Quadrant.
I like it..... I can't work out who the 'both' are, thought it was to a girl, I'll give it another read now but from what I got its beautifully confessional and distraught. Keep it up!

CC

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:25 pm
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thanks man and it was kind of my point to make them indistinguishable haha

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Jimi Hendrix ---> SRV ---> John Mayer ---> ??? whos next?


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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:35 pm
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Then you did it well!

lol

CC

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:37 pm
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sucky part it is its all tru man lol but it made me a great song lol

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:48 pm
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Pgkinder91 wrote:
sucky part it is its all tru man lol but it made me a great song lol


Thats what makes good lyrics bro... the truth! It makes music what it is too. Do you have any music for it?

CC

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:56 pm
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yea man im workin on gettin it recorded i mite be able to have it up in the next few days maybe a week depends on what school throws my way haha
but when i do ill let you know

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:03 pm
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Do man, I'd love to hear it.

CC

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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:03 pm
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It's good even though can't relate to it all. Generally I'm on the receiving end of such sentiments.


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Post subject:
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:44 pm
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yea you know im dealin with this situation as we speak and it helps to vent through this song it rlly makes me feel less sick to my stomach

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Jimi Hendrix ---> SRV ---> John Mayer ---> ??? whos next?


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Post subject: Re: i just wrote this and i want some feedback, bring it on
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:01 pm
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Posts: 19026
Location: Illinois, USA
Pgkinder91 wrote:
i wrote this in like 30 mins and idk i thought it was pretty good


im stuck between you two
tryin so hard to choose
which path to take
don want no heart break

this pain is killin me
bringin me to my knees
and all i can do is
to beg you both please

please just let me be
give me time to think
how i can deal with this
choice burdning me

i cant deal
with this kinda stress
your both pulling
me to the
end of my thread
and i cant take this
anymore!

just dont ask why
im takin my time
im gonna
deal with this
in due time
but its makin my soul
so damn sore!

how could this happen to me
i could be so happy
but happiness
has got its price for me

they tell me just to follow my heart
but my hearts covered in scars
from past mistakes made from
this ver same heart

i cant wait to long
or both will be long gone
and then itll be as if
i did you both wrong

i cant deal
whith this kinda stress
your both pulling
me to the
end of my thread
and i cant take this
anymore!

just dont ask why
im takin my time
im gonna deal
with this
in due time
but its makin my soul
so damn sore!

ive had you
to many times before
and every single
time youve walked
right out the door

your just coming
into my life
baby im sorry
but this has
to end tonight
just promise me
you wont cry!

i cant deal
whith this kinda stress
your both pulling
me to the
end of my thread
and i cant take this
anymore!

Pk91 , bro , you are right on . if not a wordsmith then well on the way .

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Post subject:
Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:40 am
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Roadie
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Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2008 3:01 pm
Posts: 250
Location: Hickory north carolina
thanks man

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Jimi Hendrix ---> SRV ---> John Mayer ---> ??? whos next?


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Post subject:
Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:42 pm
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Roadie
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Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2008 3:01 pm
Posts: 250
Location: Hickory north carolina
thanks guys ur comments are leading me into deciding wether or not to get this to performance level so that i can play it on stage any suggestions or is it fine the way it is??

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