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Post subject: Any one else ever have this problem?
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:36 pm
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For the last several months I've had a guitar player and a bass player tell me that they're interested in getting a band started. They've called me up numerous times so that we could get together, feel each other out, and see if we want to have it become an ongoing band.

Problem.....I live about a three hour drive away from the above two. For the past several months I've gone to their location to get together and play. I've stayed up to two weeks on each visit, but once I'm up there, they either don't have any time to set aside, don't "feel like it", or I get no answer at all. I've been going up there at THEIR request.

Guess I'm posting this, since I just got back from one of these trips. I received phone calls, trying to talk me into coming up to play, then I made a special trip to do so. On this last trip every one seemed to be busy watching baseball on TV, golfing or other such things. I announced I was up there, and available to play, yet no response. I've decided I will no longer make any trips up there to play. I figure if they seriously want to play, THEY will have to come to me.......otherwise "too bad".

Has anyone else ever had these problems, when trying to form a band? Is it a musician thing? Years ago when I played in bands (as a drummer), I never seemed to ever have these problems. In fact, we always got together for several times a week to practice.

Anyway.....just wondering if I'm the only one who has this problem.

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:39 pm
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the uk is rife with apathy mate. That kind of ignorant behaviour is normal here. :oops:

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:40 pm
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nikininja wrote:
the uk is rife with apathy mate. That kind of ignorant behaviour is normal here. :oops:


Ok....maybe it's just a musician thing. Anyway....I've learned my lesson. If I get burned once......I'll just move on.

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:44 pm
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When I was in a band we picked the cheapest place to practice that was the most cental for all - we all traveled a bit to get to get there. (not more than an hour though - this is the UK everyhting's nearby!)

Sadly I had to quit when I moved away, but missed the whole band experience sorely, the friendship, the creative process, gigging, recording, etc...

After just more than 2 years, they called me up and asked me to rejoin (this was last week - things not working out with replacement guitarist) and I'm off to practice next week. I jumped at the chance and am now prepared to do a bit of traveling to get back what I lost.

But your situation sounds a bit harder than mine would ever be!

The best band you can be in is with good friends.

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:50 pm
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ian sheridan wrote:
When I was in a band we picked the cheapest place to practice that was the most cental for all - we all traveled a bit to get to get there. (not more than an hour though - this is the UK everyhting's nearby!)

Sadly I had to quit when I moved away, but missed the whole band experience sorely, the friendship, the creative process, gigging, recording, etc...

After just more than 2 years, they called me up and asked me to rejoin (this was last week - things not working out with replacement guitarist) and I'm off to practice next week. I jumped at the chance and am now prepared to do a bit of traveling to get back what I lost.

But your situation sounds a bit harder than mine would ever be!

The best band you can be in is with good friends.


Yeah.......I didn't mind the three hour drive so much, since I have a house there. But when I drive three hours, for the only purpose of playing with someone, and they'd rather play golf instead....is a big much for me to swallow. Guess it's a show of character, and a warning sign of things to come...do I'm better off with out them.

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:57 pm
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Syeklops wrote:
I'm better off with out them.


You said it mate.
You've always seemed a true gent to me, dont waste your time with these ignorant idiots mate, they'll only drag you down.

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:06 pm
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I'm assuming that they wanted to play golf etc with you, right?

Maybe your buddies just want to hang out and get some quality Syeklops time!

Don't be too hard!

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:42 pm
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I've had my share of this kind of thing.
I once travelled from Manchester to Leicester to work with a band and only half of them turned up for rehearsals. I told them what I thought of them and left immeadiately.
A couple of days after that I travelled from Manchester to London and exactly the same thing happened again.
It's a prevalent problem, apparently worldwide.
In musical terms I would ease away from these guys, just go see them if you want a game of golf, if you are still on friendly terms.
The best, most reliable band I was ever in, was my first one, we all lived in the same village, in fact, the same street. We stayed together eight years.
I hope you find something better fairly soon.
All the best. Good luck.

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:04 pm
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Rhumba wrote:
I've had my share of this kind of thing.
I once travelled from Manchester to Leicester to work with a band and only half of them turned up for rehearsals. I told them what I thought of them and left immeadiately.
A couple of days after that I travelled from Manchester to London and exactly the same thing happened again.
It's a prevalent problem, apparently worldwide.
In musical terms I would ease away from these guys, just go see them if you want a game of golf, if you are still on friendly terms.
The best, most reliable band I was ever in, was my first one, we all lived in the same village, in fact, the same street. We stayed together eight years.
I hope you find something better fairly soon.
All the best. Good luck.


Great to read these posts. I guess it's not only me.

Yep......the lead guitar player is a friend of mine, who's also a golf nut. But, it was his idea to come up and meet a bass player who wanted to make a band of it. I know nothing about the bass player. I've never met him. I'll just think I'll keep my distance on this, until something better turns up. I'll only try so many times, then I'll just move on.

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:40 pm
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Syeklops I don't think the bay area is so small that you can not find like minded people, just look what happened to the Minnow on a 3 hr cruse, I know at this stage in your life you would not care to be going out to open jam nights, maybe you should put an ad out in the local paper & see what kind of fish you reel in.
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Post subject: Re: Any one else ever have this problem?
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:46 pm
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Syeklops wrote:
For the last several months I've had a guitar player and a bass player tell me that they're interested in getting a band started. They've called me up numerous times so that we could get together, feel each other out, and see if we want to have it become an ongoing band.

Problem.....I live about a three hour drive away from the above two. For the past several months I've gone to their location to get together and play. I've stayed up to two weeks on each visit, but once I'm up there, they either don't have any time to set aside, don't "feel like it", or I get no answer at all. I've been going up there at THEIR request.

Guess I'm posting this, since I just got back from one of these trips. I received phone calls, trying to talk me into coming up to play, then I made a special trip to do so. On this last trip every one seemed to be busy watching baseball on TV, golfing or other such things. I announced I was up there, and available to play, yet no response. I've decided I will no longer make any trips up there to play. I figure if they seriously want to play, THEY will have to come to me.......otherwise "too bad".

Has anyone else ever had these problems, when trying to form a band? Is it a musician thing? Years ago when I played in bands (as a drummer), I never seemed to ever have these problems. In fact, we always got together for several times a week to practice.

Anyway.....just wondering if I'm the only one who has this problem.


Sure. I even tried putting a "virtual band" together. Four guys living in 3 different states would record their tracks and e-mail them to me for processing and mixing. Couldn't get everybody to participate so it's just another of my half-finished projects. I'm stayin' solo.


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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:55 pm
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Call them up, make them come to you, then do the same stuff back at them :twisted:

Seriously though, bands are tough because at times its almost like having several wives/girlfriends, and kids to deal with. Someone doesn't want to do something, other people don't want you doing something, and others are just big children to begin with. Thats why I sometimes say 25% of being in a band is about the music, the other 75% is about keeping everybody happy and putting out "fires" as I say...At least many of the bands I am in tend to be this way...I say start looking around for others to play with, and if that doesn't work out, work on your music and learn several instruments. That way you can just record your own music, then if it comes time to play out or something, just find some decent players, and just tell them to "Play this exactly how it is on the recording..." 8)

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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:42 pm
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bowlfreshener wrote:
Call them up, make them come to you, then do the same stuff back at them :twisted:

Seriously though, bands are tough because at times its almost like having several wives/girlfriends, and kids to deal with. Someone doesn't want to do something, other people don't want you doing something, and others are just big children to begin with. Thats why I sometimes say 25% of being in a band is about the music, the other 75% is about keeping everybody happy and putting out "fires" as I say...At least many of the bands I am in tend to be this way...I say start looking around for others to play with, and if that doesn't work out, work on your music and learn several instruments. That way you can just record your own music, then if it comes time to play out or something, just find some decent players, and just tell them to "Play this exactly how it is on the recording..." 8)


+1000. They shouldn't be putting you through that BS, it sounds absolutely pointless. There should be PLENTY of musicians that would be willing to gig that won't put you through that kind of torture, just look in your local 'freebie' entertainment papers.


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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:47 pm
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that really sounds like their not devoted to b eing in a band... you need people to have devotion and they need to want to play and actually do something about it and not just talk about it


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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:50 pm
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My old singer did that all the time, even when we got together to practice (just me, him, and the bassist). Is dedication dead? :(


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