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Post subject: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:23 am
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I'm a hobbyist guitar player. I own three Strats, and in my down time, I like to learn some songs, and that's pretty much it. I just enjoy practicing and learning. Unfortunately, i only have time to pick one of my guitars up about three times a week.

Well, my wife seems to hate my guitars with a passion, and I don't understand why. I usually play them at night, when she's watching some TV show I don't want to watch. I don't see what the big deal is.

When I was a kid, I dreamed of one day becoming a famous guitar player. Those days are long gone. I even stopped playing guitar altogether, when I first met my wife. A few years after we were married, and I had some money saved up, and I got the itch again. So I purchased a guitar, eventually two, and now I own three. I have a decent career and I bought them because I could afford them, but more importantly because it's like having a little bit of my youth back.

Well the complaints have been, "why do you need three?", or "we are short on cash right now, why don't you sell one of your guitars?" She doesn't seem to understand how important my guitars are to me. I liked playing guitar long before I met her. To me, it's part of who I am, as I'm sure it is to all of you.

From what I've read on some of these forums, it seems to be a common dilema for husband guitar players. So my question is , Why do our wives hate our guitars? and secondly is there a solution to this problem?


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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:37 am
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first of all, i'm a lucky guy. my wife understands my guitar playing is relaxing to me, and something i have loved for 50 years. i now have 4 guitars and 4 amps. i never bought any of them when money was tight. in fact, most of my amps i bought used.

i think you may have it right on the money issue. it seems there is always something that she sees that is more important than the guitar. it may be furniture, maybe a vacation-who knows.

if you are spending a lot of money at a time when money is needed for other things, i can understand to a degree. but if it keeps you home at night, relaxes you, and makes you feel good, imho she has nothing to complain about


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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:51 am
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My wife hates my guitars too, believe it or not, she's very jealous of them. She always says that I spend more time with my guitars then I do with her... which is simply not true. She calls them my mistresses.

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:24 am
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Because I have too many; on the other hand she knows I've only one wife.
Fair ? No ?

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:29 am
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axeman417 wrote:
I even stopped playing guitar altogether, when I first met my wife. A few years after we were married, and I had some money saved up, and I got the itch again. So I purchased a guitar..


There's your answer right there! She never signed up to be with a man distracted by his guitars.. Some partners are strange like that..

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:49 am
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Mrs.B bought me 4 of mine(including 2 Gibbies)........she knows there are much worse things our $ could be spent on.........

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:19 am
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:lol:
Not laughing at you but with you..

I think you will find 95% of married guitarists will have the same problem :roll:

go with the flow and stick the headphones on! :D

Keith


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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:49 am
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My wife does not hate my guitars - she just can't quite understand my obsession with them. Okay, so I own 60+ guitars and 30+ amps and that might be part of the problem, but after 41 years of marriage, we've got each other pretty well figured out. She knows I love music, performing and the instruments I own, but she is also well aware that I have never smoked, never drank and never messed around with other women. She realizes that all in all, it's a pretty fair trade.

Oh, and at least 90% of my guitars and amps were purchased with GIG money! And I might add, gig money usually pays for our evenings out. :D

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:53 am
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I don't think my wife hates them because she only complains when I come home with a new one :lol: she just regulates how many I have at one time :roll: she would also rather have me playing guitar than sitting next to her bitching and complaining about every little thing in those dumb tv shows she watches :D so luckily no issues at my casa....... but I hate her stupid cat with a passion :evil:

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:57 am
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My bride doesn't descend quite to hatred, but she doesn't understand why I need 3 basses...? She was happy with the purchase of a "cottage acoustic" so that I didn't have to cart mine when we are up north in the summer, saves room in the car ya know!

Any $ I make playing is mine to spend as I want, so as long as I can afford my purchases through that income it's all good.


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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:15 am
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Mrs. Captainc doesn't want me abandoning the family to form a band but she's hip to me playing and wants me to teach the kids and perhaps get a band going with them... though that is going to be more like a josey and the pussycats band if it gets off the ground as i have all girls. She bought a gorgeous Ovation for christmas to replace the one that got stolen. I love that guitar. Once we pay off the mortgage, she was going to get me the David Gilmour Strat but now i'm thinking i just want a Midnight Wine HSS Standard. I'm really digging that color. Unfortunately it will be a few years of GAS so i'll be pretty bloated by then.

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:29 am
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You mentioned, "While she's watching some TV show I'm not interested in..."

Some women (early in our marriage, Lady Armadillo was included in this group) feel that if you are sitting there beside her, no matter what she is doing/watching/etc., that is an indicator of how interested you are in her...

I turned that around on her, though...I said, "You don't come and sit down and listen to me play guitar or sing or write songs, so you must not be interested in me..."

If you play (as we all have at one time or another) to the point of obsessively ignoring everything else--including her--she has every right to complain.

But if she never reciprocates--arranges some "axe time" for you--then the two-way street is blocked off in one lane, and that's not fair either.

Be balanced. You mentioned playing three times a week...shoot, between work, college, Daddy Duties, etc., I don't even get to do that when she's out of town! There are days when I don't even get to pick up an instrument and strum a single chord.

Marriage isn't a 50/50 business deal...it's a 99/99 agreement. You have to be willing to give 99% to your partner (and she must do the same likewise)...that final 1% is for your own sanity.

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:47 am
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And I thought I was the only one putting up with this nonsense. For some reason when they get married they think they can control everything you do. They have their interests, and we have ours. If you respect each others interests there should be no problem. But for some reason they can do whatever they want, and we have to sit there like Buddha in a 10 foot cell.

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:22 am
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Quote:
Why do our wives hate our guitars?


I really don't know what you mean. My wife doesn't hate my guitars at all. :?

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Post subject: Re: Why do our wives hate our guitars?
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:40 am
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My wife's pretty cool with my gear addiction and actually enjoys polishing up my guitars prior to a gig. She also provides professional sewing and tailoring services whenever I need a cover fabricated for a custom-sized amp I've built.

She's got her shoes -- I've got my Strats.

:mrgreen:

Arjay

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